Making Over Mum

A lesson in math

2011-09-01T20:34:00.000-06:00

I don't take very much comfort in the statistics anymore.

When I lost my first baby, the doctors all told me that statistically I would probably never have another miscarriage. Thankfully, I had Laney with my next pregnancy, but I still didn't assume I would be in the clear. My own mother had three miscarriages. I'm already doing worse than her considering how she had child, miscarriage, child, for her first three pregnancies. I'm sitting at miscarriage, child, miscarriage.

This is why it is important to not put faith into statistics. Now that I've come up on the wrong side of statistics again, I'm reminded that I put my faith in a God who doesn't rely on drawing straws to decide our fate.

I'm going to throw myself into the next pregnancy with every fibre of my being. Mike says we need to celebrate every day of our babies' lives. I don't know how my heart will take it. I am managing this time because I kept myself detached. But, I'm done with statistics.

Poor Laney. "Mummy sad," and "Mummy crying" aren't phrases I want to become commonplace.

Miscarriage

2011-08-28T13:54:00.000-06:00

Kind of kicking myself for not waiting an extra day to announce my pregnancy. Anyways, to keep it short and simple for now, I am losing this baby. I will write about it when I feel up to it.

I am doing well and looking forward to moving on. I'm glad I have Laney to snuggle up with since I will never get to hold this little one.

Mostly, I'm just afraid that there will be more down the road. I want to have a big family, but I'm afraid that might not happen.

1 month in

2011-08-25T14:33:00.020-06:00

I took a few pregnancy tests during the second week of August. They were negative, but then, after the time limit a faint line would appear. This kept happening. So I bought a couple more tests and said I wasn't going to test again for a few more days.

Like I could wait. The motivation for taking the next test was the fact that I was spending my last day at the beach. Miracle Beach to be exact. I figured that there couldn't be a better place to take find out that I was expecting. So, right before we headed for home, I stopped in at the bathroom on the beach. Two lines appeared immediately.

So this is the place I thanked God for new life.

I'm currently six weeks along. The first trimester leaves me feeling in limbo. I have a 50% success rate with pregnancy so far. Hence why I am not letting myself get too excited about the new baby.

I am, however, not going to let my apprehension keep me from celebrating this point in time. Because, there is new life growing in me. And that is worth celebrating.

My stomach already feels like it is sticking out a bit. I know I still had leftover to get rid of, but that is going to have to wait awhile. As much as I've enjoyed shrinking over the past several months, I'm ready to grow again.

Grow baby grow.

Change can be good

2011-08-15T13:04:00.000-06:00

I vividly remember sitting in our minivan on my eighth birthday and thinking how I was now a big kid. I was so excited to leave the babyish things behind. It's funny now, because sometimes I imagine going back to my childhood and reliving it knowing what I do now. I miss being a kid. Remember when you thought your parents could make anything OK? Having no stress?

Life is change. Sometimes, change is hard and it’s difficult to move on. It is so easy to get caught up in the past even thought time keeps moving forward, whether we do or not.

The changing of the seasons is one change I can get behind. Even though there are things we miss as we move into the next one, each one comes with its own delights. There is something completely magical about each one. Kind of like babies, really. Every age so far is my favourite. I still can't help looking back at Laney's first photos and wondering how she changed so fast.

Summer is one of the shortest seasons where we live and we are trying to soak up as much as we can before Autumn announces its arrival.

A day in the city with Laney, her cousin, and Auntie

This summer has brought another first for Laney: the beach. Oh, how she loves the water. We recently spent some time in my hometown and also visited my parents. Laney easily spent entire days at the beach. She is a water baby just like me. I’m not one to sit on the beach in the sun. If I’m on a beach, I’m in the water. It is so thrilling to enjoy it with my Little One.

This summer has also brought another big change to our household. Ready, here goes. I am pregnant. Number two is on the way. I want to be so excited about it, but there is still the fear that I’ll lose this baby like I did my first. I am caught up between going ahead with the dreaming and excitement and reigning myself in to try to protect my heart.

But, really I’m mostly telling myself to take it day by day. And just thanking God for the little life, no matter what happens.

Toddler hijinks

2011-06-23T14:59:00.000-06:00

~Always investigate if your toddler is in the room next door. This is especially important if there is an unusually long period of silence.

Ah, the toddler milestones. Figure out how to open the fridge- check. Discover the funnest foods to play with- check.

This literally occurred moments after telling Mike (while Laney was in the other room) how I was not looking forward to her figuring out how to open the fridge. I have no idea if this occurrence was a crazy coincidence or if she heard me talking to Mike and got the idea. They are so much smarter than we realize.

UPDATE: Since this feat, she has discovered how to open the latch on the cabinet doors under the sink. Yikes.

In other toddler development news, after waking up in her crib last night, we could hear this from the living room, "Mummy, mummmmy, mummy, Mike, Mike, Miiiiiike, Mummy, Mike." I have no idea why she has decided to start alternately calling her daddy Mike. It's probably not helping that I laugh.

I decided to go in after a little while (I have discovered that Laney alone and awake for any length of time do not mix).

She was completely naked. Her pajamas, blankets, soother, magical seahorse, and diaper lay in a neat pile on the floor. There were only two puddles in her crib. No poop. It's the small victories that really matter.

The longest day of the year

2011-06-21T23:31:00.000-06:00

I will not let the mosquitoes win. This summer, well all one day of it, I have decided that I am not going to hide from the mosquitoes. I will suck it up and use bug spray.

After all, we only have a short window of time to enjoy the beautiful weather. If you're wondering why this is, I've created a lovely (and completely accurate) depiction of our Alberta seasons.

If I ever come across billions of dollars, I will immediately offer the majority of my fortune to the person who discovers a way to make those pesky mosquitoes extinct.

I really don't think they're necessary.

I get huge welts from the bites.

I can't stop scratching them.

On the bright side, we don't have malaria (among other diseases) here so I really shouldn't be complaining. For me it's just a nuisance and for others, it's a matter of life and death.

Anyways, that was fun. No really, I have been having fun with Laney. She is a little water baby just like I am. "Sfimming" is one of her favourite activities. And, I'm constantly bombarded with "side, side, side" which of course means "take me outside now, mummy."

Daddy gave it to her

My child loves the park. And since I need the exercise, I decided today was an excellent one for a bike ride to our favourite spot.

She looks so big playing here.

The swing gets a "thumbs up"

I can't believe that at this time last year she was crawling around in the grass. A lot can happen in one year.

Happy Summer. Enjoy it. It goes by way too fast.

Snippets of spring

2011-05-10T15:39:00.000-06:00

Happy (belated) Mother's day to all you mums out there.

I had a very low-key, albeit enjoyable day. I worked on the Sunday so we celebrated on Monday instead. I got to sleep in (as I get to most weekends thanks to Mike) and then we just went out and spent time as a family.

Laney is totally enamoured with the great outdoors. This morning the first thing she said to me after getting out of bed was "side, side, mummy, side" which means outside. Ever since the snow melted a couple of weeks ago she wants to do nothing else. Even bringing her inside to eat meals can trigger meltdowns. She doesn't notice she's hungry out there.

Here's some pics from the past few weeks. I need to buy some secondhand play clothing. We are getting all her clothing stained in a hurry.

I wish I had a picture from behind. She sat down in a puddle. She then screamed when I took her indoors to get dried off and warmed up. As you can tell from the pictures it wasn't exactly a warm spring day.

And these are from Easter

One thing's certain. This kid loves "chocate" just like her daddy. Chocolate is something she has started asking me for fairly often since she got some at Easter. It sucks saying no. And I don't all the time.

She's just woken up so it's outside we go.

Keeping it real

2011-05-05T20:12:00.015-06:00

I haven't lived up to my goal of weekly weight-loss updates. No excuses. And, thankfully it's not because I haven't been making any progress. I have. Big time. I just haven't had much time for the blog lately. I never want this to feel like a chore. I blog about trying to improve myself because it keeps me accountable and I enjoy it. If I don't feel like posting then I just won't.

Alright, on with the update already.

I am down 20 lbs since I really started trying to lose weight at the end of February. Yay. The not-so-great right now is that I'm currently stuck in a plateau. I'm not cheating at all on food and I started exercising almost every day. I have been stuck at the same weight for almost two weeks. Boo. It was so tempting to quit exercising. The weight was falling off just fine until I decided adding exercise in would be a good idea. I am pushing through for the time being because I feel great and I know it is good for me in the long run.

Moving on. I look slightly put together for me today. I bought this shirt today and was so happy with the way the clothing I tried on fit my body. I can't wait until my current clothing doesn't fit anymore.

I am not wearing any makeup today as per usual. Do you get used to wearing makeup everyday? I hardly ever put it on and when I do it feels so uncomfortable on my face. I really want to start wearing some more often.

I do need to work on looking a little more put together overall. Jogging pants are too comfortable. I think it's time to wear something that is a little more form fitting. We'll leave the heels for awhile longer I think.

Thanks for following along with me.

Laney had a little lamb

2011-04-10T13:42:00.001-06:00

Moving right along to Spring. Here is (hopefully) the last winter shot I have for you until later this year. We had a blizzard last weekend. It melted away fairly quickly in the next few days as it warmed up. We made sure to let Laney enjoy the snow while it was here.

Later in the week we were able to visit a sheep farm. We went to see the spring lambs. Oh my. Laney was so excited. She ran around saying "bah bah" the entire time.

I want a lamb.

Cellulite vs cellulitis

2011-03-29T14:18:00.004-06:00

It has been a crazy month. I've been left with little free time. Mike has been gone for work so I've been flying solo. And, of course that's why things have gone haywire. I came down with a facial infection called cellulitis which can be pretty serious. I ended up having two days of IV antibiotics. Fun. It is better now, but I have to share with you something I found hilarious.

The remains of my IV

I went into worry mode when I was told what I had. Mike reminded me that I need to trust God with everything and I spent the evening reading my Bible and feeling 100% better about the situation. I asked some friends to pray for me on facebook and told them that I had cellulitis. Apparently at least half of my friends thought I was being funny and was asking for prayer for my cellulitE. One took me seriously and told me that he didn't think it was that serious but that he would pray anyways, and maybe I should just play some soccer and go to the gym. I laughed so hard I cried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And to totally change the subject, I figured that it is about time to post an update on my weight loss. I'm probably feeling the need because I actually have lost some weight!

I posted about a month ago that I joined a diet plan. I wasn't expecting much and by the following day I was having tremendous regrets.

The first three days were horrible. I had terrible headaches, no energy, and I was starving. Looking back, I think that this was due to sugar cravings. After I got past the first week, I felt great. And, I wasn't hungry any longer. This is by far the easiest diet I have ever done. And by easy, I don't mean that I don't pay much attention to what I eat. I am going by servings of the food groups. I actually have found my cravings for junk almost completely gone. I do sometimes have a little treat, but it is just a tiny amount. I'm OK to have a couple of bites and be done with it.

As of today I have lost 1/4 of the total weight I want to lose. In one month! I am seeing the inches drop as well as the numbers on the scale at a fairly rapid rate.

I truly feel for the first time in my life that eating this way can become my lifestyle. I'm not counting down the days until I can eat whatever I want. I am enjoying the healthy food. I know I will eat some of the bad stuff again, but I think at the end of this I will have gained the skills to make healthy eating a priority.

Spring hasn't sprung

2011-03-25T14:08:00.000-06:00

Please excuse me if I'm not overly enthusiastic about Spring yet. Believe me, inside I'm dying to get together a good spring-cleaning list, bake some hot-cross buns, and bust out the pastels. But when I step outside my hopes are shattered. I mean, just last week I could see the lawn and some little patches of green. I was convinced it was here. I even bought Laney an Easter dress.

Don't you think this picture is more appropriate to a Christmas card than the view from my lawn in almost-April? I thought the added caption suited better than "Happy Spring"!

But enough complaining. I will appreciate the sun all the more when it makes its appearance. I did have some fun with my camera today. And those frost crystals are really pretty.

Happy spring to those of you who are blessed with its arrival!

One year ago

2011-03-17T14:22:00.000-06:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day

formspring.me

2011-03-06T13:34:00.001-07:00

Ask me anything http://www.formspring.me/livstr

My car is a wimp

2011-03-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

This is what almost "spring" looks like this year. This morning it was -30 degrees (-42 with wind chill) and now with the warmth of the afternoon sun it has warmed up to a balmy -22.

I was all set to head out the door this morning. I had plopped Laney in her crib so I could go outside and start the car. The car had other plans and decided it was a good day for the battery to die. Probably because Mike isn't here. In a way, I thought to myself that this was a great opportunity to use my skills. I know how to boost a car. My dad made sure of that when I got my driver's license.

I had the same feelings the time I got a flat tire on the side of the road before I was married. I had this "I can do it" attitude. I was a woman who certainly could figure out how to change a tire. I had everything laid out and ran into a slight problem. I wasn't strong enough to get the lug nuts off the tire. Cue fire truck driving by. I had about 5 fireman hop out and take over. I will never forget that. Sitting there watching them change my tire in a few minutes. My friends were jealous.

Anyways, slightly off topic. But in a way, it was nice to know that I can figure out how to do something like that without Mike. He takes care of all that stuff. I had a friend come by and I decided to give the car a little boost. It didn't work.

The block heater cord was missing somewhere inside the engine. So, when Laney went down for a nap I bundled myself up and headed outdoors. Laying on the snow-covered ground with about an inch of clearance I stuck my head under the car and looked in vain for the cord. Thankfully I found it. Around the same time one of my neighbours must have seen me laying on the ground and probably thought I'd been run over by the car. It must have looked funny seeing me laying on the side of the road with my head underneath the front bumper. He came over and thankfully had a battery charger. He saved the day. My car is running, recharging the battery as we speak. Lesson learned. I will plug my car in when the weather is cold.

Don't you just love neighbourly neighbours? It was a good reminder that I need to be a better neighbour. I hated living in city neighbourhoods where no one ever spoke or knew each others names. Mike and I have gone around to meet our neighbours and we chat sometimes. We have people shovel our walks often enough and we made treats for them at Christmas. However, I haven't really made the effort I should have to get to know them.

Do you know your neighbours? What is the atmosphere in your neighbourhood?

Keeping it real

2011-02-24T15:15:00.000-07:00

OK. Let's be real here. I haven't made the physical changes to myself I wanted to make when I started this blog. There have been improvements in some areas, but not in others. I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. Because for some reason I've gotten into the habit of letting myself down. There, I said it. I'm used to disappointing myself.

I don't want to let you down though. My plan is to dedicate every Thursday to "Keeping it Real" where I will post photos of my progress (good or bad) along with a rating on a scale of 1 to 10.

Here we go.

Put-togetherness:

Score- 3. No makeup. Sloppy hairstyle. Comfy clothes that don't look particularly matched.

Nails:

Score- 4. Stop chewing them already.

Head to toe:

Score- 1. Because I'm not a healthy weight and I am determined that I have nowhere to go but up (well, technically down on the scale)

Inches from start:

Today is the start date so nothing to report.

Bust: 0
Hips: 0
Waist: 0

What have I just done?

2011-02-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I decided to join a weight loss program. I didn't really do much research on it before joining and paid the money. Of course, I then come home and read all these terrible reviews of it. I've decided that I am going to give it an honest effort however. I can do enough research on my own to make sure that I do it safely and if something they tell me doesn't jive, then I am going to speak up.

I will update soon.

Here's hoping I didn't just throw my money down the gutter.

Today is where I am

2011-02-21T21:30:00.000-07:00

I never really considered myself to be a girly-girl, but Laney is turning me into one! I've been getting in touch with the outfit-loving girl inside. I bought this outfit when I was pregnant with her and remember thinking that she would never be big enough to wear it. And that seems like only yesterday.

She likes having things just so and mostly refuses to eat unless she can feed herself. So I just sit back and let the peanut butter and yogurt fly. I try not to think about the fact that maybe only half ends up in her mouth and the cheap part of me inwardly cringes at the wasted food. I'm looking forward to her being more proficient at feeding herself. It will come, I know.

And while I'm watching I thank God for little feet crossed on the highchair. They make me smile.

I always look forward to Mike getting home from work. On this particular day, when Mike got home and saw her in this outfit he couldn't believe how big she looked. This is the first time (I think) that I have ever put her in jeans and wow, she looks big.

That's right Laney. Crawl. Mummy doesn't want you growing up too fast.

We have too much to do while you're little. We have the Five Little Monkeys to read over and over. And I don't think Daddy is ready to give up on you sitting on the couch waiting for him.

I'm caught between not being able to wait for the next one and wanting to drag my childbearing years out so that it doesn't end so soon. Often it is hard to live in the moment, not yearning for yesterday nor impatiently waiting for tomorrow. Today is where we are. And it is exactly where I want to be.

Infant potty training take two

2011-02-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: this is a post in which I discuss poop.

I wrote here about my experience and reasons for trying the so-called "elimination communication." After this post I had a lot of success getting Laney to go on the potty. I would ask her if she needed to poop and if she did she would sign and say it. There was a week straight in which she did not poop in her diaper once. After that she came down with some kind of illness. It included a lot of diarrhea. So obviously, I did not try and get her to use the potty while she was sick. After she got better, I was unable to get her to use the potty again. This has gone on for the past month. I was getting rather frustrated and ready to just give up...

...until yesterday. I had a not so great day and realized I was getting rather annoyed at Laney for not using the potty. She would come to me and tell me she needed to poop just so that I would take her diaper off and then refuse to sit on the potty only to poop a few minutes later in her diaper. I figured out that my frustration was obvious to Laney. Yesterday during her nap I did some reading up on the subject and everyone is pretty unanimous that you have to keep it relaxed, treat the accidents very casually, etc.

I completely changed my attitude. When Laney woke up from her nap I had the potty out in the living room. I let her examine it and I didn't push it. I had her diaperless for the entire evening so that she'd be aware if she peed right away. I just used a diaper cover with a absorbent cloth inside it to protect the rug and furniture. All of a sudden she was wanting to use her potty and she ran and brought it to me. Told me she had to poop. I sat her on the potty and she went within a minute. We took it to the toilet and she happily flushed it down and was obviously proud of herself. We had quite a bit more success with peeing too yesterday.

This morning I just put the potty out in the living room. I went into the office and Laney went and grabbed the potty, brought it to me and started sitting on it. I asked her if she needed to use it and she obviously wanted to so I took off her diaper and she sat down, peed, then started clapping. This happened twice. We also had one accident, but I simply pointed the accident out to her and told her that it goes in the potty and let her watch me clean it up.

Anyways, sorry for all the poop information, but I'm always curious if other people are trying this method and how it goes for them. I am also totally amazed at how much these little ones pick up on subtle things like our attitude. My frustration is what I think has hampered progress in the last month. I changed my tone and didn't push it and Laney picked up on it right away and did a complete one-eighty.

A good old Laney update

2011-02-11T15:21:00.001-07:00

15 months old! Wow! It's been awhile since I've given an update on Laney. I feel like she has learned so many new things that it would be impossible to list them all.

Our favourite new things:

Laney's hair is now in her eyes. I have resorted to the "palm tree" hairstyle as I don't want to cut it yet. Her hair always comes forward and I'm hoping that putting it back as it grows will help me be able to brush it back.

And, check out her lashes. I love them. I kiss her eyes all the time.

Doesn't it make her look so much older with her hair up?

I've been trying to not care about the mess she makes and let her learn to use a spoon. I will do better with the next one, I promise. This is quite late to be learning how to use a spoon isn't it?

Another thing I'm trying to do better with is taking her outside more often. It wasn't really a problem in the warmer months, but I find I like to hibernate when the temperature drops and the ground is snow covered. This has been a very cold winter here. But, Laney still loves going outside.

She is really starting to talk. She understands so much now as well.

Words: Thank you (tank yooo), please (peas), yes, no, mummy (mama), daddy (dada), grandpa (grappa), grandma (mamma), nana, grandad (gradad), Isla (Eya) (her cousin), Laney (naney), ball (bah), book (buh), down (daoon), up, help (hep), baby, poop, bath (bat), this (dis), that (dat) and that's all I can think of.

She now weighs 22 lbs. She is also starting to run more than walk. She has been sleeping really well lately too!

Also, I want to let you know how work is going for me. My sister is watching Laney and she has adjusted with no problems. I love how excited she is when I get home though! I only work about two or three days a week and some shifts are evening shifts so it doesn't really seem like I'm away from her that much. It takes me five minutes to get to my work so it is awesome to literally have no commute.

Ideally, I would like to be a stay at home mum and I think it will happen when I have a second child. I do love my work and if I could clone myself I would. Work will always be there once my children are in school so it's not like it has to be all or nothing. Another wonderful thing about my career is that I can always work as part-time as I want (or even casual).

Thanks for all your support. It is conflicting going back to work. But, I got to spend Laney's first 14 months with her fully as a SAHM and now I'm just going to work part time for awhile. A lot of mothers have it much tougher than that so I can't (and shouldn't) complain about it.

And, to abruptly change the subject, I have to leave you with this. Normally Laney sleeps in her crib or carseat. This is what happened when we got home from church last week. I laid her on the couch to take off her tights and jacket and she fell asleep. She stayed like this for about a half hour. So cute!

Cleaning out my closet

2011-02-07T14:23:00.000-07:00

I decided to tackle the dreaded master closet this past weekend while Mike was away. It is something I have been avoiding and have wanted to do for a long time. I am so happy with the way it turned out.

Here's how I did it.

-I took everything out of the closet

-I sorted stuff into piles (things that fit me and I'm keeping, things that don't fit that I want to keep, things that I'm getting rid of, and things that I'm throwing out, things that belong somewhere else)

-I put everything in the keep pile back into my closet''

This is all the left-over hangers I had! I threw out all the cheap plastic and wire ones.

Here's the sort-of before. I forgot to take a picture with everything in it so here is my room with the stuff out of the closet and here's what still needs to come out.

And, here is my closet now. Not much in it huh? I also realized I've been buying dark and mostly black clothing in the past couple of years. I've decided to get some new clothes that look good on me and some that aren't dark. I'm not in mourning after all.

The key thing for me was letting go of everything that didn't look good on me or didn't fit me anymore. I was so sick of having a closet full of clothing that I don't wear. I wonder why I'm always going in there and not able to find anything. Now I know. 80% of the clothing doesn't fit. I hold onto everything thinking that one day I will fit it again. It has never worked as motivation before. Instead it just makes me feel bad about myself and guilty. I can't tell you how freeing it was to get it all out. I did cheat according to all the info I read. I am not totally getting rid of that stuff as I do plan on fitting it again. Instead I am putting it in storage bins in the basement. However, anything that doesn't fit is not allowed in my closet.

If you too have a closet full of clothes that don't fit, give it a try. I doubt you'll miss them.

Why I suck at New Year's resolutions

2011-01-04T21:18:00.002-07:00

So far, 2011 has been a quiet year for our family. Mike and Laney had the flu. Mike now has strep throat. We didn't have much of a celebration on New Year's Eve because of the sickies. Laney is finally recovering and I feel like I can start thinking about the new year. I don't know why but I am a total sucker for New Year's resolutions and for having fresh starts come January 1.

However, thinking about resolutions on the fourth of January doesn't have the same effect as it does on the thirty-first of December. Maybe that is why I haven't had much success in past years. It gets old a mere four days later. If you've read my blog for any length of time you will know that I have tons of ideas...and poor follow-through.With that being said, why don't I share some more ideas with you.

Last year Mike and I sat down to write out all the blessings God gave us in 2009. I want to sit down and do the same for 2010. When you see all the good it makes it hard to be a downer.

I want to make a list of resolutions for 2011.

I want to purge and clean out my house. I am such a pack-rat and I am just sick of caring about stuff. Why do we fall so easily prey to caring about stuff?

I start my new job on Monday. This means relinquishing some control of taking care of Laney. You have no idea how much I'm struggling with this. My sister is even going to be the one looking after her.

I have a new angle for weight loss that I really want to share with you. I think it's going to be really fun and I am planning to have a series here on my blog.

Wish me good luck. And, I'll leave you with this little gem. You have to know that Laney is sick if she's sleeping on one of us. She's been doing it non-stop over the past week. I have been relishing these moments all the while wishing that she was squirming to get down and away from us because it would mean she's healthy.

Happy New Year (or all 361 days that are left of it)

Carrie Underwood and Christmas

2010-12-30T23:08:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks has been a bit of a blur. We have tried very hard to do it all. We had three family birthdays (including Mike and I) as well as Christmas with both of our families. Mike took me to Carrie Underwood for my birthday! She was awesome.

The view from the car on the way to the concert

We spent the 23rd and 24th with Mike's family and then came home to host Christmas for my family. They all arrived Christmas Eve. Including us, we had four sisters, three brothers-in-law, three babies, my parents, my grandma, and an uncle here. Thankfully a pastor from our church who was away let us use his house. Even with the extra house it was a delicate balance trying to ensure that all three babies got their naps. I think we (and they) did pretty good. I must also add that if you wrap the turkey in bacon it creates magic.

We finally got a photo of Laney doing her "tripod". She does it all the time.

Me and the three cousins

My next youngest sis and her hubs in their jammies

Laney with her Nana and Grandad

On Boxing Day we had our little Laney dedicated at our church. After that we had all of the above people, sans uncle, as well as one of Mike's brothers, sister-in-law, and parents here for lunch.

Mike thouroughly spoiled me. I actually don't want to share it with you because I'm kind of embarassed. I will show you this though.

Hopefully, it will mean better pictures showing up soon. They will probably be worse to start with though.

Now, the house is a little quieter with two of my sisters gone. We are also in quarantine mode right now as my parents are both fighting a stomach bug. We got a call from my next younger sister and she, her husband, and baby all have been throwing up. I'm just hoping that 1. Laney doesn't get it and 2. that it is the same bug I had a few weeks ago so I don't get it again (oh and 3. that they all feel better tomorrow).

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Happy New Year!

Anyone...Anyone?

2010-12-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

Do any of you have any experience with "elimination communication?"

I have been on and off trying this with Laney since she was about four months old. Basically, if you don't know what EC is, it is a method of teaching babies to be aware of their bodily functions and placing them on the potty when they need to go. I thought it sounded kind of crazy at first, but did a lot of research on it after hearing from a friend from Africa where this is the norm. We had a lot of success in the beginning, but Laney just doesn't want to sit on the potty anymore. I did get her to go pee in there this morning, but not poop. I just finished cleaning up the mess that was me trying to catch her mid-poop.

This is from the summer.

Basically, I'm just trying to decide if it is worth the time and effort getting her used to going on the potty at this age. I know she's not going to be "potty trained" right now but I would like her to know what the potty is for and to understand that she can go on it.

And with that, I will leave you with a kiss from Laney. Because you deserve one after reading about her poop.

She's really a toddler

2010-12-09T10:42:00.001-07:00

The amount of new things Laney has been doing lately is incredible. I have no idea how she managed to turn into a toddler right under my nose. She has been walking for awhile but it's the communication that really makes her seem grown. I know at this point she can understand a lot more than she can communicate. That's why I decided about a month ago to get serious with signing and it has cut down a lot of frustration on Laney's part (OK and sometimes me too). If I ask her if she needs a diaper change she will usually run to her room (same if I tell her it's time for "night-night" and she actually feels like sleeping). She knows what her doll, baby, ball, balloon, and several other toys are if I say them out loud. She is also starting to listen to me when I say no.

She is such a personality. I love seeing this come out. I love her. Mike and I look at each other just about everyday and say that to each other. Don't worry we say "I love you" to each other as well.

Stats:

Weight: 21 lbs
Length: 30 inches
Animal sounds: cow, pig, horse, monkey, fish, bear, lion
Signing: more, all done, please (along with a verbal "pea"), eat, and milk
Teeth: six with two more about to poke through the gums
Words: mama, dada, please (pea), ball (ba), bye-bye (bub-bub)
Guestures: Claps, waves bye-bye, blows kisses, plays peek-a-boo

Her Christmas dress!

My first foray into the world of baby bows/clips

OK Mum, no more pictures

P.S. The pillow-making went well and I now have two more wonderful goose down pillows. I plan on posting a tutorial soon.

Deck the halls

2010-12-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

I've had my decorations up for about three weeks now. What I hadn't done until now is photograph them.

First of all, we have to cover the tree. Sadly, we are fakers. I love real trees, but I like to have them up for longer than a real tree will allow. I am also terrible about remembering to water them. I am thinking about going real next year. Our tree looks much prettier out-of-focus (thanks fun SLR). This is partly due to the fact that there are no ornaments on the bottom third of the tree (thanks baby) and partly due to my lack of decorating skills (thanks genetics?). I know it's kind of themey with the blue and all. I had planned on decorating it in blue and green when I found a large tub of blue ornaments for cheap. What do you think? Should I add some green?

Every year I look forward to pulling ornaments out of dusty boxes and looking at each one. Because they all have memories attached to them.

...Memories of loved ones who are no longer with us.

...our first Christmas married.

...and our first Christmas with Laney.

...And decorations that remind us what this season is really about. While I am thankful for our first Christmas with Laney, it doesn't even come close to how thankful I am for the first Christmas of all.

Let it snow

2010-12-06T21:13:00.002-07:00

Don't you just wish you could do a million things? I am the type of person who likes to dabble in everything. I'm into science, but I also like the creative side of things. I love taking photos, painting, crafting, sewing, sports, music, and a ton of other stuff. I am not great at any one of those things however. Right now I'm all about making stuff. Christmas really has me tapping into my crafty side. Well, that and my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law has so many different talents (one being cooking, which I will doubtless, never live up to). This Christmas she has introduced me to the art of chocolate painting. Fun. And delicious. I am planning to do some more and will hopefully be able to get a post up soon. Tomorrow we are making feather pillows. We have a lot of company coming and we don't have enough. I will have to let you know how that goes.

We have quite a bit of snow right now and this past week Laney and I were delighted to watch the snow removal process. The road gets a very thick layer of snow build-up which can be rather tricky to drive in when you get deep ruts. Our city removed the snow and it was a lot of fun to watch.

I was treated with tons of "oohs" from Laney. Also, a lot of cute facial expressions like her goofy smile.

Check it. Laney's first snow angel. I may have moved her arms and legs to get it. I just wish I put something in the photo to show the scale. It is such a cute baby snow angel and here it just looks like an adult one.

We have fun indoors too. Laney's newest thing is climbing inside the 9x13 pan and just chillin' for awhile.

But, back to the million things I enjoy doing. My sister is letting me play with her new toy for awhile. So this week I'm going to be a photographer.

This is my first time using an SLR so please excuse some of the craptastic photos. By the way, the swing was a gift from Mike's mom and Laney loves it. If you are looking for a gift idea for a little one I think it would be hard to beat this.

We can't even take her into the basement if we're not planning on letting her swing or there will be tears. And a pouty lip.

Anyways, one thing I love is that this camera does a much better job at capturing the colour of Laney's eyes (which I'm not quite sure what to call). I've been trying forever and my photos from the point and shoot just don't seem to portray the colour even close.

Those eyes just knock me out.

I hope I don't drown in feathers tomorrow.

Monday Randoms

2010-11-29T21:32:00.000-07:00

-Mike and I got into a fight yesterday over something stupid. I was totally ashamed of myself afterwards. I have always tried to fight fair and I've always been proud of the fact that I don't ever use low blows. Yesterday I failed. I insulted Mike as a father to Laney when it was totally unrelated to the argument at hand. I knew it was the easiest way to hurt him. Mike and I forgave each other last night, but both of us still feel bad about the way we treated each other. Why was it so easy for us to argue like that? It was so untypical of us. It was all selfishness. We were both angry with each other from the start of the day and Mike is usually the first one to apologize. He didn't. I didn't either. I felt God really convicting me in the afternoon and telling me to apologize. My response was to ask Mike if he was going to apologize. That is what started the fight. I'm thankful for clean slates and forgiveness. I don't think a marriage would get very far without it. It's all good now.

I love my husband. And for the record, he is an amazing father.

-Laney is dropping weight percentiles. The doctor told me to try and get her eating more food and drinking less milk. It is not easy now as Laney has picked up on a bit of signing and constantly is asking me for milk. It is so cute I can't say no. She also still has a bad cough and we are monitoring it in the next little while. Apparently her lungs were clear. The cough really gets bad at nighttime. She is still her happy little self though.

-I've really been thinking lately about giving. I can't fathom the thought that 30,000 children die every day from starvation or preventable diseases. I am not doing enough. I have way too much. I am sickened at the thought that I need to lose weight because I eat too much and there are children out there who do not have enough food to survive. Mike and I have been having a lot of conversations lately about increasing our giving. As we make more money we want to increase our standard of giving, not our standard of living.

-Wow. I didn't intend for this to be such a heavy "random Monday" but I guess I need to unload a little bit.

-How's this for random. One day last week our city was the second coldest place on Earth. Here I was feeling all guilty for thinking it was too cold to bundle Laney up and take her outside. Then I saw the news. The only place colder on that day was Antarctica. We were colder than Siberia. Colder than the northern territories in Canada. I will stand by my decision to not take Laney outside in -33 C/-27 F weather. Just so you know, it is much warmer this week.

I snapped this from my window. I did go outside to shovel the walks while Laney was napping, but that was about the only time I stepped out all week.

Thanks for letting me get that out.

(in)frequently (un)asked questions

2010-11-21T19:39:00.001-07:00

OK, so I don't actually have questions asked of me very frequently. Regardless, I thought it would be fun to do a little interview with myself here. It might help you understand my blog a little better and it might not. Here we go anyways.

How many kids do you want? When will you have your next one?

Mike wants three and I want four. The thought of being done having kids makes me a little sad. Having my first made me realize how quickly time really goes. Laney was by no means easy in the first six months, and I haven't even wanted to think about the next one until recently. I am not ready yet though. I want to be in a lot better shape before I get pregnant again. I always wanted my kids to be around two years apart, so I am trying to get fit.

What does your husband do for a living?

He is a power lineman apprentice. He climbs utility poles and works on high voltage lines. It doesn't really mix well with a worrying wife. I work hard at trusting God with my husband. For the record, I didn't know what I was getting myself into when we got married. He was a social worker/youth counsellor back then.

True story, when he started pursuing the lineman field I asked him if he would consider a desk job. He responded by asking me if I knew him at all.

What is your biggest fault?

I really have a lot of them. I don't know if this is my biggest fault, but it is the one that comes to mind right now. I am a terrible procrastinator. I put things off, especially if they are unpleasant. Unfortunately, this often means that I have constant/reoccurring thoughts in the back of my mind about what I should be doing. I am working on just doing what needs to be done because it probably requires a lot less stress and energy to just get it done with in the first place.

What sport do you think you are the best at?

I love sports (playing, not watching). I am not an amazing athlete, but would probably say I am best at soccer. In my childhood I participated in figure skating, gymnastics, ballet, jazz, diving, karate, skiing, swimming, and curling as well as many other unorganized sports.

Do you play an instrument?

I play the piano and the oboe (note: I didn't say well). I haven't played either in a long time.

What is something your readers don't know about you?

I don't think that I am capable of having a boy. A doctor once told my Mum that some women have a hard time carrying boys. My Nana had three girls and two miscarriages, my Mum had four girls and three miscarriages, and so far I have had one girl and one miscarriage. Two of my three sisters have one girl each and no miscarriages. My Mum has always thought that her three miscarriages were boys. I haven't really looked into this to see if there might be some truth to it, but I am convinced that I will only have girls. Weird, huh? It also makes me terrified that I will have more miscarriages.

Are you a glass half-full or half-empty kind of person?

I desperately want to see the glass as half-full, but I think my natural tendency is to be more pessimistic (let's make that sound better and say realistic). I have mentioned before that I struggle with worry. This often causes me to see the worst case scenario or to be afraid of what could go wrong. This is something I am working on. Maybe worry is my biggest character flaw.

What are your favourite blogs to read?

I like reading a variety of blogs. Here are a couple of my must-reads.

Enjoying the Small Things: I'm guessing that there is a good chance you already know about Kelle's blog. I find her inspiring in that she makes me appreciate the everyday more. Some of my favourite posts from her blog include her Isles of Capri posts, but they make me wish for a warmer climate!

The Mommyhood Memos: Adriel writes such great posts. They are well-thought out and I look forward to reading them. She has tons of great informational posts for mums. Check out her post on choosing a childcare centre or this one about how all mums are hardworking mums.

Thanks for humouring me with this post. To be honest, I thought of the title first and couldn't resist the rest.

I would love to know more about you guys though. Could you do me a favour and either answer one of the above questions or tell me something else about you? What blogs are you reading these days?

A few randoms

2010-11-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

-Laney has croup. Poor little one. I've tried taking her outside to breathe cold air and we have been doing a lot of snuggling. She is now on breathing medications. She doesn't exactly enjoy having the mask held over her face. Have any of you guys dealt with croup before? What helped?

-Winter arrived. Last night we had a winter storm warning. It's days like this when I'm glad I don't have to leave the house if I don't want to. The temperature dropped significantly and we now have a lovely white blanket covering everything outside. During times like these I always wish I had a fireplace to snuggle up in front of. Hence, the Wooden Wick candles I bought. They crackle a bit and smell great.

-I got my Christmas decorations up. The tree looks a little funny as I've had to move all the ornaments out of Laney's reach. That's alright though. I'd rather have my Laney and a funny looking tree, than a department store tree and no Laney.

-I got the job! I start in January which is exactly what I was hoping for. Now I get to enjoy a couple more months with my little one before starting work. It is five shifts every fourteen days. I wouldn't mind a little less, but I am so thankful that I do not have to work full-time. Now I'm just nervous because it seems like I have forgotten everything and it has been awhile since I have had patients depending on me. I am so thankful that my old job wouldn't extend my maternity leave giving me the impetus to quit. I probably wouldn't have quit even though I wanted to.

-With a sick baby, my house is a disaster zone. Seriously. I need to do a good clean, but I am lacking energy after spending most of my time tending to Laney.

-I've also now missed two days of the 30 day shred. I am making myself do it tonight after Laney is sleeping for the night.

Worry, fear, and joy

2010-11-13T19:45:00.003-07:00

Mothers, does the worry ever end? Is there ever a point in your child's life when you can sit back and say, "pfew, now I can relax."

I'm guessing not.

After losing my first baby to miscarriage, I spent a lot of time during my second pregnancy willing the first trimester away. And, while I did feel some relief at twelve weeks, other worries soon crept in. Then, I couldn't wait until she was born because then she would be out here safely. I quickly found out that it is even harder having them on the outside. Out here, they can be separated from you. There are multitudes of things that can happen to children. SIDS was next on my worry list. And so on and so on. I have to end this cycle. I have been doing a lot better lately and I think that some of my issues (OK, maybe all) are due to me not fully trusting God and I need to. We can never make sure our babies are completely safe. Sure, we do what we can and avoid risks, but there are no guarantees.

Even though there are so many terrible things that can happen, we are not meant to live in fear. I heard this quote quite some time ago and I want to share it with you because it is true. If anyone knows what they are talking about in this department it would be Corrie Ten Boom.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. -- Corrie Ten Boom

I would also add that it empties today of its joy. It is hard to be joyful when you live in worry and fear. My big step lately has been shutting off Laney's Angelcare monitor. I know that God will watch over her and I have to trust Him and not my monitor.

We're not all worry though. Like how I just changed the topic there? I'm not great at it, I know. Anyways, we have been playing outside as often as we can. Winter is just around the corner. With that can mean a fair amount of time couped up indoors and so we must make the most of autumn. And, getting outside often means a random ensemble of non-matching clothes. I won't try and blame Laney's outfit on Mike.

Do you live in a warmer climate? If so, do you sometimes wish for a proper winter. Those of you who have winter like we do, how are you preparing for it?

Interview outfit and my toasty marshmallow

2010-11-09T16:22:00.002-07:00

It's been awhile since I've been so nervous. Well, maybe I was nervous before having Laney and that wasn't all that long ago. This morning my stomach was all aflutter, my palms sweaty and cold, and I felt shaky. I'm not really sure how the interview went. I was quite nervous, but think I managed to do OK. I know I could have answered some of the questions a whole lot better though. Anyways, now that it's out of the way, I'm going to try and put it out of my mind until I hear from them.

I have to share my interview outfit with you. Please feel free to tell me what you think, good or bad. A main reason for starting this blog was to improve myself, including my fashion sense. Personally, I love the colour of the satin shirt. I need to make a better effort at dressing myself up more often. Laney hardly recognized me when I got her up from her nap. She kept smiling at me and kissing me. I think she liked it.

Please excuse the "bobblehead" shot. I had to take it myself.

I found a used snowsuit for Laney and wanted to try it on her in case I needed to return it. No worries. It was huge. Once the snowpants went on Mike and I burst out laughing at the sight. Laney looked like a marshmallow baby and I was tearing up I was laughing so hard.

Once she started walking in her snowsuit I just about died. I feel bad for all of you who live in warm climates and don't get to experience snowsuits. Really, I do. It's not very often that I feel any sympathy for you folks, but I think you are missing out when it comes to snow sports. Don't think I feel all that bad for you though, I do spend a fair amount of time dreaming of living in a warmer climate. You just haven't lived if you haven't seen a baby in a snowsuit that adds about three times to her bulk. I can't wait to throw her onto a big old snowbank.

Oh, and P.S. I've lost 5 pounds since starting the 30 Day Shred on November 1. Yay! I've now completed seven workouts, only missing two. I am happy with the results so far.

Are you sick? and the winner

2010-11-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

...because it seems like everyone I know has either been experiencing the flu or a cold. Laney got hit with a pretty bad cold a couple of weeks ago and it is still lingering. There have been several times that either Mike or I has woken up out of a dead sleep and ran into her room because of a major coughing fit. I am hoping it is nearing its end. As for me, I was so excited that I didn't catch it from her for the first time (out of about 8 colds so far). Then, yesterday I got it. The only high note was Mike running me a hot bath and making me some lemon ginger tea with honey. What a keeper!

The cold couldn't have come at a worse time because I have my job interview tomorrow. It has been so long since I have been to one of those. Yikes. I feel nervous and don't know how prepared I am. Is anyone ever totally prepared for one of those?

In totally unrelated, uninteresting news, my computer is on its last legs. I am expecting its demise any day now. RIP Porky (when Windows asked me to name my computer I gave it the first name that popped into my head). Porky is four years old, but there are many things wrong with him/her. It overheats, the battery is totally dead, the power cord is frayed and falls out, Laney broke the "ctrl" key, and now, the spacebar key isn't working properly. I really want a Mac computer and I have the money saved up for it, but I will not buy one until I have a job. Yay responsible me.

And finally, the winner of the CSN giveaway is...

Carrie! Congratulations. Check your email.

Hope you all have a fantastic week

The quitters

2010-11-02T22:26:00.000-06:00

I felt it when I woke up this morning. Burning muscles. Everywhere. I was already making excuses in my head as to why I wouldn't work out this morning ("you can ease into it" "wait until you're not as sore; you can work up to everyday" "Laney woke up early, do it later"). I immediately (OK a few minutes later) recognized these voices in my head as "the quitters" and I decided I wasn't going to let them win this time. That is why I dragged myself out of bed and made myself do day 2 of the 30 Day Shred this morning. I found that once I got warmed up my muscles didn't hurt as bad, although I definitely wasn't able to keep up the pace as well as yesterday. I did finish it though. I will work through the pain. I just hope the soreness isn't compounded tomorrow.

Anyways, I wasn't the only one tired yesterday. Last evening, Mike wanted to clean up the yard a bit. I dressed Laney up and let her run around the yard in the crisp air. After her bath, I was doing our nighttime ritual starting with brushing her hair. Instead of fighting me for the brush as usual, Laney laid her head against me. I called Mike in and found that she had fallen asleep against me, still on her bath towel.

I was so disappointed that I couldn't just lay her down like that (stupid diaper and sleeper). It was one of those moments I want to etch into my memory. Long after she's grown I want to be able to close my eyes and remember every detail. And, I think she caught onto something. Tonight she needed me to rock her to sleep and it has been a very long time since she has allowed me that privilege. I am one blessed mother.

I've been shredded

2010-11-01T12:59:00.001-06:00

Today was day one of doing the 30 day shred DVD. Wow. My legs were shaking and I felt sick for an hour or two afterwards. I was so sore I was worried I wasn't going to be able to take very good care of Laney. I don't know how I will feel tomorrow, but I'm going to make myself do it again anyways. I really like that this workout only takes 20 minutes, because let's face it, mums often don't have much more free time than this. Jillian Michaels ensures that you work hard for those 20 minutes. There are no breaks and you are always working two muscle groups.

Mike really wants us both to focus a lot more on being healthier. I really appreciate this because in the past it has always been me trying to initiate changes in our eating habits. Having him on-board will make things much easier (or so I hope). We are going to weigh-in every Sunday evening. I am ready to do this. I don't have any more time to lose.

There's still time to enter the 35$ CSN giveaway.

the first birthday party

2010-10-31T18:38:00.001-06:00

Wow. What a week. Laney turned one. We had friends and family from out of town. Count 'em five babies at my house! I loved watching the little ones play together. But, boy oh boy, trying to coordinate naps with that many babies is quite the challenge. As I write this, Laney is having a long catch-up nap in our now quiet house. Mike is also having one of those on the living room floor. Mike wants to hand out candy tonight, but I'd much prefer a lights-out quiet evening.

On Laney's birthday she was still feeling quite sick. She spent most of the day wanting to be held so I got some rare cuddles.

I planned on giving her cake at her party so on her birthday I just made some homemade ice cream for her. She enjoyed the ice cream, but the party hat, not so much.

On Friday, Laney's buddy came over for some fun. This was my attempt at being one of those mums who isn't afraid to let things get a little messy. The plan was to gut the pumpkins and then fingerpaint. Both girls hated it. They didn't want to get their hands dirty and wouldn't touch the pumpkins. Then, neither one of them wanted to touch the paint. Laney kept slipping in the paint which provided a little amusement. The only part the two of them liked was playing on the plastic sheet before we started and the bath at the end.

Laney's birthday party was lots of fun. One of our friend's gave her a massive Winnie the Pooh balloon and she loved it. Loved it. She carried it around for basically the entire party. I will not show up at another one-year-old's birthday party without one.

She did need a little break or two every now and then though.

Watching her eat her cake was hilarious. She started by daintily picking at it. This was followed by hands free leaning over the cake and biting it, and finally full-on smashing the cupcake.

Thanks for all your birthday wishes for Laney! I can't believe she's one. And, don't forget to enter the 35$ CSN gift card giveaway. Click here.

1 approaches and a CSN giveaway

2010-10-27T15:27:00.001-06:00

I've got some exciting news to share. I may not need that cardboard box after all. I have a job interview for a laboratory position coming up in November! I guess I'm going to need an outfit other than my frumpy everyday "mummy uniform."

But, the most exciting thing going on is that my baby is going to be one! We are going to celebrate her birthday with a little homemade ice cream and a birthday party on the weekend. I've seen a lot of really well done and fancy birthday parties on various blogs and part of me felt like I should be throwing Laney a party like that. After thinking about it, however, I realized that Laney is going to enjoy it regardless of matching (or unmatching) decorations. If I were to go all out it would be for my sake, not Laney's. Laney doesn't care. All she needs are loved ones, cake, and fun. So, it is going to be a basic party. And, I'm not getting stressed about it or spending a ton of money on it. Fancy parties are great and all, don't get me wrong. Maybe she will have one down the road, but not this year.

Unfortunately, Laney got a cold this week so I'm really hoping that she will feel better by the weekend. This morning when she woke up she had green cement completely caked around her nose. I knew that there was no way to clean it up without a struggle and a large amount of tears so I just plopped her in the shower with me and waited for it to soften before wiping. Sorry for sharing. I am a mum though, you know. This wouldn't be a proper baby blog without mentioning bodily fluids in some shape or form.

And finally, my first giveaway ever! CSN is giving one of my readers $35 to spend on anything from one of their 200+ stores! Sorry for all the exclamation points, but it's free money! CSN has everything you could ever want from barstools to luggage. So check them out. I love online shopping and am always looking for new sites. Online Christmas shopping is so much easier than fighting crowds at the mall.

The rules (I know, I'm sorry, there has to be some, but I'll keep it simple)

The contest is going to be open from now until November 3 at midnight MST. Only Canadian and U.S. entrants. All you have to do is leave a comment wishing Laney a happy birthday. Oh and please make sure to leave an email address so I can contact you. One entry per person please. Winner will be chosen using random.org.

You have 48 hours to respond to my email or I will choose a new winner.

Bust

2010-10-20T14:43:00.000-06:00

My sister and I decided to hold a yard sale on the weekend. I have been collecting things that I don't want anymore for awhile and thought this would be the perfect oppurtunity to get rid of some of it and also make a buck or two. I made $30. Anyways, I don't know quite what I did wrong, but I only sold about three items. And, a yard sale is a lot of work. I don't know that $30 really is worth the effort. Perhaps it was just too cold. I am keeping the stuff and will try again in the spring. Otherwise, I think I'm done with yard sales.

Do you have any tips for yard/garage sales?

Even though we didn't sell much, my sister and I had fun hanging out. Laney loved seeing her cousin too.

In other news, I got my top up pay from work. It was a lot more than I expected. God always seems to provide for us when we need it and I feel a little better about not having a job to go to right away. I have a possibility, but won't really have any more details until the end of November.

I also just want to thank all of you who have taken the time to leave comments in the past. I really try not to get caught up in how many comments I get, but I never anticipated how uplifting it is to receive tips, advice, and supportive comments. Thank you. I have never been one to plan my posts, but I do have a few "scheduled" ones coming soon. I have a really great (or at least I think so) idea for working on my weight loss through a series of posts, I have to finish the story of how Mike and I met, and I also have a giveaway coming up. I am hesitant about doing giveaways and am curious what you all think of them. I certainly do not want to become a review/giveaway site, but I think a giveaway every now and then would be OK. No?

Hay bum

2010-10-18T11:21:00.002-06:00

Sorry about the title.

There is something about having babies that makes me enjoy every season, every breath just a little bit more. I have wonderful memories of my childhood and I want the same for Laney. In some ways, experiencing everything with her and watching the wonder in her eyes makes me feel like I am living a second childhood. With that being said, we have really been relishing this autumn. I love how the air turns crisp and provides a great excuse for sweaters and thick blankets to curl up with on the couch. Perfection would be Laney allowing me to snuggle with her under said blankets. Oh to dream.

What colour do you call her eyes? Are they hazel?

We went to a corn maze where Laney was able to hang out with some of her baby-buddies. They had this awesome inflatable balloon like thing. It was way better than a trampoline. And, what a workout! I need to find out if they make these in backyard sizes. Who needs grass?

Here is the reason for the title. Enough said.

As for the actual corn maze, my friend and I decided to do the little kids one. Yeah, we couldn't find our way through. We made an executive decision to avoid the large one as it supposedly takes about two or three hours to finish. With my direction sense I would probably need to take flares in with me to alert the search party after Mike noticed us missing later that night.

My thoughts these days are turning towards Christmastime. Mike is doing his best to delay my decorating urges until November. You see, I am not a Halloween girl. I have never liked the occasion (save for the candy and sometimes dressing up). I guess that is pretty much the whole thing though. No, what I don't like are the ghoulish costumes and celebration of evil. Laugh if you must, but I have always been extremely sensitive and would have nightmares as a child. I can't watch even the mildest of scary movies. I even find myself avoiding blog posts when I see Halloween in the title. I don't like the creepy decorations. I still don't know how we will "celebrate" on October 31 with our family. I kind of want to make it a family night where we turn off the lights, rent some movies, and eat pizza and candy. I know my kids might have other ideas as they grow, but we will take it as it comes. I'm up for costumes for my kids, just not the scary ones. Just thought I would explain why you won't find me excited about Halloween.

I will leave you with this. It didn't stick for long, but I expect that it soon will.

Why I quit my job

2010-10-12T09:16:00.001-06:00

You may remember me freaking out awhile back about going back to work. The good news is that I can delay that panic as I don't have to go back to work right now. I quit my job! I know it seems crazy when you consider that I don't have another job lined up, we need the money in order to make our monthly payments, and there is no way I could make even close to my previous wage unless I can find another lab tech position. It was best for both me and my family, however. I won't be staying at home for too long. I am looking for a new position.

Quitting left me feeling like this!

I am a planner. I like to have everything figured out. I have worked since I was fifteen and have never quit a job without having another one to go to. Sometimes, it is good to make a decision that needs to be done without knowing how it's going to turn out. Part of me, wanted to stay at my job. I mean, it wasn't the greatest place, but it paid well and it was secure. But, I knew that this job would not be great for my family, especially because it leaves me feeling negative and frustrated most of the time (I might go into that another time, maybe after I have a new job). Ideally, I would have another job already, but life isn't always ideal. We have enough money saved to carry us over for a few months. I am going to have a job by then.

And if not, do any of you have a large refrigerator box that you're not using?

A very full week

2010-10-08T11:45:00.000-06:00

I have this thing in which I don't like leaving Laney in others' care because I feel like no one will watch her as closely as I will. It's a pathetic control thing that I am having a hard time shaking. However, yesterday I wasn't watching closely enough. It happened partially because something threw me off my routine. Normally when I get Laney out of her crib after a nap, we walk down the hallway and I make sure the doors and the baby gate are closed. Yesterday Mike phoned right as I was taking her out of the crib. I ran down the hallway without closing the baby gate to answer in time. During the call I put Laney down, forgetting about the gate. A couch blocks my view so I can't see if the gate is open or closed from the living room. I can see Laney, but not the gate.

The next thing I knew, I heard a sickening thud. Then crying. I yelled and dropped the phone. I found Laney on the second to last step facing up. I grabbed her and she calmed down fairly quickly to my great relief (showing she wasn't injured). I examined her and she had a small bump on her head and her knee. I couldn't stop shaking. It actually took me hours to calm all the way down.

I almost wish I would have seen her fall, because maybe then I wouldn't have these imaginary reenactments going on in my head. You know all those detailed, slow-motion clips that play over and over? The list of possible what-ifs that accompany a near-miss? The overwhelming guilt. If only I had watched her closer, if I hadn't gotten distracted. But, maybe her fall would have looked worse than it actually was and it is better I didn't see it. She must have fallen pretty good to land the way she did and to only have a little bump or two.

In a way, it was a good reminder to me. No matter how closely I think I watch her, no matter how hard I try and control every little thing in her life, I am imperfect. I am flawed. I was reminded of this. I was also reminded that she does have someone who is perfect watching over her. That is cause for peace.

Besides me allowing my baby to hurt herself, we have had a lot of fun this past week. We've finally got the weather we hoped for all summer long. It has been a nice mix of beautifully coloured leaves and warm air. On one hand, I want to go running through sprinklers and on the other, I want to curl up in front of a fire, wearing my comfiest sweater, while cinnamon buns bake in the oven. Whatever season it currently is, it is beautiful and I have been trying to ensure that we make the most of it.

One reason why I am glad for this hot weather is the fact that I was finally able to catch this shot. All summer long I would glance back over my shoulder to see two pudgy little baby feet casually crossed. It always made me smile. When the cold weather came, I was disappointed to realize that I had not taken a single picture. I made sure to get a photo this week when we were able to get outside with no shoes or socks. Next year when we get to experience bare feet outside, there will be no baby feet to photograph. My baby is fast turning into a toddler.

This is our first autumn in our new town and I think our park looks delightful in this season.

Laney loves autumn too. She can't get enough of all the leaves on the ground. For every smiling picture I get of her, there are probably five of her trying to shove leaves into her mouth.

And oh how we love having cousins for Laney. Three girl cousins within three years of her to be exact (two of these within six months). We were blessed to have Isla out for a visit.

I wonder what she is thinking here. Thanks God for leaves to play with, I think.

I think it is bliss that I got my wish. Laney is a full-fledged walker and she was able to learn in barefeet on green grass.

Get out there and enjoy yourselves my friends.

OK I totally failed

2010-10-05T10:28:00.000-06:00

I haven't been exercising. I haven't been eating all that healthy. I haven't done pushups for awhile.

And, that's why I haven't been talking about it on here. Because I feel like a failure. I know it's common to start off with a whole lot of motivation. Why can't I seem to keep it going? I feel like I'm at a standstill. Mike is starting to want another child and I refuse until I get my body back. I don't want to get to the point where it is so far down the road that I just go for it with my body the way it is. I want to be healthy in my next pregnancy. I know it will only be more difficult to get my body back after another pregnancy and with two small children. That is why I need to do it now.

So, I'm jumping back on the wagon. And, hopefully, this little one will keep me motivated.

Life is tough when you're thirteen

2010-09-30T15:53:00.005-06:00

I was contacted recently about getting involved in the Dove Self-Esteem Movement. If you have read the 'about me' section then you can probably guess why I agreed. I did not have an easy time in junior high. Dove is asking "what do you wish you'd known at thirteen?" I took a bit of a spin on this and wrote a letter not only to my thirteen year old self, but to my daughter when she turns thirteen in the future. To share your answer to the question "what do you wish you'd known at thirteen," click here.

I know thirteen is a tough age. I get that. Every woman you see out there has been there too. Many of the ones who look like they have it all together struggled at your age. I was thirteen once myself. I did not find it easy. But I made it through. And you will too.

You are worth it...

You are far more valuable than precious gems. Don't let others get you down. Don't ever believe anyone who says you are worthless. They are lying. People who put you down are likely just trying to take the focus off themselves. They too are feeling insecure and they are trying to bring themselves up by putting you down. If you feel like giving up reach out. There is help available.

If you are one who puts others down it is never too late to stop and have a fresh start. You can always have a new beginning. Never underestimate the power of a genuine apology.

You are not invincible...

It seems like bad things don't really happen, or if they do, they happen to someone else. Some of those things seem like they don't happen at all because you won't hear people talking about them. However, I guarantee that many of your peers will have to suffer the consequences of bad decisions. Many people are injured or killed by getting into a car with a drunk driver, even if it's only "this one time." Some of your peers will get STIs which will cause problems for the rest of their lives. Girls you know will get pregnant, even if you never find out. Some of them will suffer emotional pain forever. All of these things happen and they are sadly, far too common. Don't let someone pressure you into doing something you just don't want to do. They will not have to suffer the consequences. You will.

I know it's not popular to say this, but wait for marriage. I'm not going to tell you that sex is bad. It isn't. It's awesome. But it is awesome when you are with someone who loves you, someone who has promised to be with you for ever. It is amazing when you don't have to worry about being the only one and you have no fear of getting STIs or a broken heart. It is incredible when you don't have to be faced with regret or what-ifs down the road. Don't give yourself up to the first guy who says "I love you." He probably doesn't, even if he thinks he does. And I promise you that if he does love you, then his love is not dependant on you having sex with him.

Don't waste your teen years trying to impress guys. Don't try to be someone else. The real men will love you for being you. Down the road, The One is going to love your quirks and is going to think you are beautiful the way you are. And if he doesn't? Then he is not worth a single second of your time. Move on, because he is not The One.

Take care of yourself...

Value your body. Don't smoke. Don't do drugs. Don't drink.

You are beautiful without a tan. Your skin will thank you down the road. Eat healthy and stay active. But don't obsess about it. That isn't healthy either. Just try and look after yourself as best as you can. We aren't all going to be 105 lbs, 5"10, with sky-high legs. And that is not the definition of beautiful. It is merely one of many. Beauty comes in all sizes, shapes, colours, and heights. Which leads me to...

You are beautiful...

You know those supermodels? The ones who look picture perfect in those magazines. Guess what? Those pictures are airbrushed. Those woman have teams of people behind the camera primping them and putting everything in place. Even after all of that, there are teams of people who edit the photos to death. That means even those supermodels don't look like those supermodels. Don't waste your time creating some picture of beauty that doesn't even exist. Don't waste your time trying to look older. Most older women spend their time trying to look younger. You are beautiful now, the way you are. And you will be beautiful when your face carries the wrinkles and spots that come with age.

Another thing? Beauty really does come from inside. Give to others. Be thankful for the blessings in your life. One of the best cures for feeling down about yourself is doing something for others. Stand up for the girls that are being made fun of. Talk to people who are lonely. Avoid gossiping. Trust me, if you are going to lose friends for doing those things, then they are not the kind of people you want for friends.

You are unique...

There is no other you. Junior high is a time for fitting in, not standing out. I'm going to tell you a little secret I wish I knew when I was thirteen . After high school, no one wants to just fit in, everyone wants to stand out. They are trying to be unique. It's better if you figure this out now. If you like playing the tuba, then rock on! Want to join the chess club? By all means, join. If no one appreciates these things about you now, then believe me, someone will down the road. Do what you love with no apologies. Follow your passions with everything you have. Don't give up. Many of the most successful people out there are where they are because they didn't try and just fit in, they tried to stand out. The sooner you realize this, the more time you have to develop your interests and discover who you really are.

And you are too precious to believe anything less about yourself.

*Please note: the opinions expressed in this post are completely mine. This post does not represent the opinion of Dove. I was not compensated in any form. To learn more about this campaign, check out the video below.

Eleven months

2010-09-28T15:55:00.000-06:00

The last month of the first year has begun. Laney is starting to shed some of her baby ways. Little glimpses of the little girl emerging are becoming evident. And she is a lovely girl, though I have a feeling that we're in for a bit of trouble because she is so spirited. I love her spirit in spite of that though. I struggled trying to get her to sleep well. Part of me didn't want her to give in and sleep because I liked the fact that she didn't give up. That part of me lost though, because I do need sleep myself. In the midst of trying to help her learn how to sleep without cry-it-out, I remember saying to Mike that I don't want to break her spirit, although I would like to mold it. And by mold, I mean form, not decay by the growth of fungi.

In other developments, I tried feeding Laney a baby biscuit today and she choked. I was ready to flip her onto her tummy when the chunk she tried to swallow came out. Being a mother comes with a whole new set of fears. Due to her inability to chew properly, I think we'll stick with the purees for now. I really hope that by the time kindergarten rolls around I won't be as well acquainted with my blender. Sorry Laney. You aren't allowed any food that required chewing.

Highlights this month:

-She slept through the night a couple of times
-She walks about as often as she crawls
-She says "RAHRRRR" when asked what a lion says
-Plays peek-a-boo whenever she has a blanket near
-Says mum, dada
-Loves shaking her head "no" when asked a question
-She bounces up and down while standing
-She is doing a fake laugh now to try and get us to laugh
-Enjoys crawling through and over obstacles

Here are some photos I took for eleven months.

having a girl...

2010-09-27T23:25:00.001-06:00

...is pretty awesome. One of the funnest things so far has to be the outfits. I know that there are cute things out there for little boys too, but nothing like what is available for girls. I plan on letting Laney develop her own style as she grows, but for now I relish picking out her clothing.

I realize that in the future, I will probably retract my opinion concerning the fun of girls' clothing. Maybe it's just me, but I notice that many companies seem to be pushing overtly sexual clothing on our little girls. Why this need to oversexualize them? Aren't they facing enough pressure? Girls have no need to wear thongs, skimpy bikinis, low-cut tops, or lingerie among other things. I guess this issue isn't going to be that far down the road. I've seen "baby's first heels" in a store here in my town. Really? Why would I ever put a pair of high heels on my baby?

Anyways, on to the fun clothing.

Exhibit A: Moto Baby

This outfit is too big for Laney at the moment, but I can't wait for it to fit. I debated getting it for awhile and wasn't going to until last week when I saw it on clearance. My sister Rosie actually bought the same one for her baby girl. I figure if I can't have twins, then Laney and her cousin can at least dress alike.

Exhibit B: Girly Girl

I am undecided about this skirt. On one hand I think it is adorable, on the other, it seems a little silly.

Exhibit C: Baby Ballerina

Teehee. It looks like she is stretching here.

I always wanted to be a ballerina when I was little. I took ballet for a little while, but unfortunately, I wasn't cut out for it. I like food. I am really tall. I find tights uncomfortable. I have boobs. End of story. As a child, even though I knew my career path wasn't going to involve Swan Lake, I wasn't deterred from dancing around the living room with my umbrella, jumping from couch to couch, while blasting Sixteen Going on Seventeen. Come to think of it, I'm still not.

At least I have a daughter who I can live vicariously through. Just kidding. But seriously.

laugh your way

2010-09-26T10:31:00.000-06:00

I managed to do it. I left Laney with Mike's parents for the first time. Maybe I can relax a little about going to work part-time now that I spent a day away from her. We left her so that we could attend a marriage seminar on Friday evening and Saturday. It was called "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage."

I'm not going to review the whole seminar. It is available on DVD and we thoroughly enjoyed the entire thing. Besides being entertained, we learned a lot of things that we can apply to our marriage.

The best part about the whole thing was having some uninterrupted time together. I actually forgot what it is like to go for a walk with Mike and just be able to talk together without focusing on anything else. Sure, we can do that at home when Laney is in bed, but there are always other things that seem to prevent us from actually sitting down and having conversations. We tend to keep busy or even just have the television on in the background (or at least Mike does).

I feel renewed.

This weekend also reminded me that I need to make my husband's needs a priority. I tend to get so focused on taking care of Laney that I don't really make a huge effort with Mike. I'm not just a mummy, but a wife too. And I don't want to forget that.

How do you feed your marriage when life gets busy?

Breathe

2010-09-24T10:40:00.000-06:00

That is what I need to do. Mike and I had a heart-to-heart yesterday. I admitted to him that I am getting literally sick at the thought of going back to work. I can feel my body tensing up and it feels hard to breathe when I think about it. I just don't know how I'm going to be able to trust anyone outside of Mike or I to watch Laney. She can be a difficult child. She can be clingy. She can cry. I keep hearing horrible instances of children being beaten by their caregivers. And I am afraid of what someone who has no connection to Laney would do if she was being extremely fussy. I know that those experiences are rare, but what if the caregiver wasn't abusive, but just neglected her or was mean to her? I can't stop picturing Laney crying holding her arms up and the caregiver pushing her away or locking her in a room to cry alone.

I feel like I am failing her by going back to work. No one else loves her as much as I do. Shouldn't she experience the most love during her first years in this world? We have examined every shred of our budget. We have looked at what we can do without and what the bare minimum would be required for us to live. And I have to go back to work. I know I am extremely fortunate as I only have to go back to work two days a week. I know so many mothers choose or have to go back to work full-time and that is fine. But for me, I am panicking at the thought of even two days a week.

However, as uncomfortable as I am with the thought of someone else looking after Laney, the fact is that I have to go back. So I need to choose a caregiver as diligently as I can. Daycare or dayhome? Would you who have had to make these decisions give me some advice on how to find someone? Please?

And on a lighter note, how can I ever leave this face?

Need some Christmas shopping ideas?

2010-09-21T15:44:00.002-06:00

I am starting to think about Christmas shopping. During the year, I always come up with great gift ideas, but I never write them down. This leads to last-minute-I-guess-it's-going-to-be-another-necktie kind of shopping.

This year I am determined to be prepared.

For Laney:

I love this Christmas dress.

I have a dresser I want to refinish for Laney's room and I would love to get these monogrammed knobs.

Isn't this kid's apron the cutest?

I found this doll. I am debating getting it for her and keeping it aside until she's a bit bigger.

I could (and probably will) devote an entire post to the books I want to collect for Laney to read and cherish. For now, I will just pick one of my childhood favourites for the list.

For Mike:

I want to get this for him. It is called Ladder Golf. I played it for the first time and it is tons of fun and I don't usually like games. It is perfect for the backyard, picnics, camping, you name it.

Our game collection is seriously lame. We have maybe three in our cupboard. This is one I know that Mike would enjoy.

You can never have enough of these living in Canada. Mike would like this.

This won't happen anytime soon, but Mike and I once saw a really nice foosball coffee table. He still talks about it. I would love to surprise him one day with one.

For me:

If Laney is going to have a cute apron then I want one too.

The weather lately has me craving a nice jacket.

I like jewelry. Period.

I thought this idea is so neat. It is a personalized world travel map. This would be so cool to have in our future family room.

For the record, I have no affiliation with any of the companies/products on this list.

What's on your Christmas shopping list? And does anyone know where I can find a ladder golf set?

Shiny Sink

2010-09-20T14:34:00.001-06:00

This is a boring post. Just so you know, I am writing about my kitchen sink. Now that I've put this disclaimer out there, I don't need to worry about you being annoyed with me for wasting your time once you've reached the end.

With that being said, if you knew me well, you would know that my house is not squeaky clean. I think I do a decent job of keeping it clean most of the time, but it is not unusual to see dust on the furniture, crumbs on the floor, and smudges on the glass. So keep that in mind when I show you what I did.

I got my kitchen sink a-sparklin' using these instructions. Mike was thoroughly impressed. I actually overheard him bragging about it twice since then. I know it's vain, but I secretly like hearing Mike talk me up. Even if it's over my kitchen sink. It is nice to know that he notices things every now and then. It makes me want to try harder and it makes me want him to be proud of me as his wife.

I love my husband. And yes, I know I'm a dork.

I love mountains

2010-09-19T13:05:00.002-06:00

I grew up in the Rocky Mountains. I thought I would live in them forever. Then I moved to the prairies for university and met a boy. A prairie boy. So, I am still in the prairies. I have learned to love my new home here but the mountains will always be my favourite.

Mike and I decided to head for Banff for a couple of days last week, hence, the lack of blogging. Well, that and due to my incessant picture-taking of Laney, I have filled up the hard drive on my computer. I spent much of yesterday transferring photos onto a portable hard drive.

I was quite disappointed with the photos I took on our vacation. Laney came down with a cold and was not the happiest camper. She barely slept and we didn't get very many photos of her because she spent most of the trip inside my ergo carrier or on Mike's shoulders. I had visions of capturing images of Laney with the majestic Rocky Mountains in the background, but those will have to wait for another trip.

This was the view from our hotel. We spent both days just walking around Banff. I earned two blisters on the first day, but they were worth it.

These are some beautiful gardens we walked to from our hotel. I have been to Banff several times before, but I cannot recall visiting here on those trips. I absolutely love gardens. I instantly feel at peace. If I was a gazillionaire I would have an indoor garden. Actually, maybe I would live in a climate that allowed a year-round outdoor garden. Thoughts to ponder. For now, my potted plant will have to suffice.

This is the historic Banff Springs Hotel. Mike's grandmother actually worked here during WWII. As a child, I remember my mum telling me that the Queen stayed here, and I used to imagine being a princess in the tower.

Laney appreciated the architecture. I think she was marvelling at the chandeliers and wishing that they were ceiling fans instead.

And of course my little water baby loved the pool at our hotel. I don't think she has ever cried in water.

I hope you have enjoyed the past week too.

How to share pregnancy news

2010-09-12T23:37:00.003-06:00

When I was pregnant for the first time we thought it would be fun to take pictures of everyone's reactions as we shared the news. It was Christmastime, so luckily we were going to see most of our family members in person. We were due in August of 2009. I didn't want to tell anyone until the end of the first trimester, but Christmas made it too hard not to. We lost that baby at 8 weeks. But, I don't want to forget about that little person. And I thought I'd share these photos for that reason; they are all I have.

I smile when I see them now. And I still cry.

This was right after I told Mike

I told my next younger sister Rosanne first. Unfortunately, I don't have a photo as we hadn't thought of that yet.

Next on the list was my best friend. She lives in Uganda (runs an aid organization) and I had to tell her before she went back.

We told Mike's brother and sister-in-law. They were a little surprised I think.

My parents were a tough sell. My mum didn't believe me. My dad just smiled. First grandchild on the way.

It took about ten minutes to convince my mum that we weren't kidding.

Telling my older sister Julia was not something I was very excited about. She had been trying to get pregnant for almost a year at this point with no success. She was happy for me though, so I didn't really have much to worry about. I am happy to report that she had a baby girl this past March.

Skype was how we shared the news with my youngest sister Sabrina.

Then she cried.

We told Mike's older brother and his sister-in-law.

I don't have the photo of us telling Mike's parents as it was on their camera and I didn't have the heart to ask for it after losing the baby. I don't know if they even kept it anyways.

I was so excited to tell my grandma that she could add a "great" to her title!

This is my best friend's parents. They are like second parents to me. Telling everyone this way was so much fun. It is also so neat to see everyone's reactions frozen in time.

These are the flowers I received after I lost that baby. I still have one of the roses. I know some people make think I'm silly for grieving that baby, that "it" wasn't even a human yet. But, I know that tiny being inside of me was a person. I will see him or her one day. And God has a knack for turning bad into good. I became pregnant with Laney soon after losing my first.

How I met her father

2010-09-09T15:05:00.000-06:00

It was a warm May evening when I first laid eyes on Mike. I had attended a college group at church earlier and a group of us went to a drive-in afterwards to hang out. Mike was the brother of one of the guys in my new group of friends. I thought Mike was really cute. My friend Ruthy told me that he was going to be a social worker. I figured that he must be a compassionate guy. Good quality to have right? Then I found out he played college soccer. Even better. I always loved soccer players. He was ticking a lot of boxes for me.

I decided to introduce myself to him. Trust me, that was out of my comfort zone. I had never had a boyfriend, and never been kissed at that point in my life. I found out that he was a really nice guy. He lived in a town about an hour away and was driving into the city several days a week for soccer practice and games before starting school again in the fall.

It wasn't all sunshine and roses, however. I was nineteen years old and not quite, shall we say, mature. I had one of my crazy friends visiting. She wanted to show me how much fun it is to ride on the roof of a car. So we took turns spinning around in the parking lot with one of us riding on the roof. I know. Not smart. Mike didn't think so either. He tells me now that he thought "she's hot, but too immature."

Luckily, he saw past the foolish antics and we became friends. I saw him about once a week after his soccer practices at his brother's house where a large group of us gathered for Bible study. We would stay up talking until all hours of the night. Yes, talking. He then would have the hour drive back home and would have to work the next day. Sometimes we would still be talking at 4 or 5 in the morning. Poor guy. It is amazing how little sleep you need when you like someone.

I began to get quite frustrated in the fall. He had moved into the city for school by this time.I really liked him. But, I was afraid he just thought of me as a buddy. Sometimes I would get an inkling that he liked me, but he would never act on it. We were still hanging out a lot, mostly in groups and we still talked late into the night. I attended several of his soccer games. One thing I have learned over the past decade is that guys are not into subtle hints. Forget that, guys aren't into obvious hints either.

In January, we went snowboarding. We had done this several times before, but this time was different. It was just the two of us. I was thrilled. I decided to try snowboarding for the first time on this occasion. I know how to ski fairly well, but as Mike snowboarded, I figured I could give it a shot. It was raining at the ski hill. For those of you who are familiar with skiing/snowboarding, you know that rain + skihill = ICE. I kept falling. Hard. I smacked my head a few times. But, I was stubborn and determined to board like a pro by the end of the day. I would get going and then hit an edge which would send me flying. Mike was quite concerned and he kept trying to give me his helmet. Stubbornly, I refused. When I talk to him about it now he thinks that I wouldn't wear it because it would look dumb. Not true. I wouldn't wear it because I was afraid of breaking it.

Anyways, at one point, I took a particularly nasty fall and landed right on my face. My nose started bleeding. Tears came. Mike came up to me and wiped the hair off of my face. That is when I knew he liked me, and that he wanted to be more than just friends. I can still remember the feel of his hand on my face pushed my hair away. He called an end to our snowboarding. I had a concussion and threw up in the parking lot. He bought me Tylenol and Pepto-Bismol. Very romantic stuff.

From that day onward, things were a bit different.

To be continued...

A slap in the face

2010-09-07T00:24:00.000-06:00

Mike and I have started talking about when we want to have #2. We think that a 2 to 2.5 year age difference would be ideal. Um, that means I need to be pregnant in the not-to-distant future.

Yikes.

So, with that being said. I need to get fit pronto. I want to be as healthy as I can for my family and for my next baby. Excuse me now while I go ~~get a donut~~ do some pushups.

I figured that I had better find an old photo of myself as motivation to get to my goal weight. Here it is.

OK. I am obviously kidding. But it kind of says something that I have to go back to my childhood to find a photo from a time when I didn't think about my weight, don't you think? I wasn't that young when I started to feel discontent with my body. It started around high school if I remember correctly. It is hard to pinpoint because it kind of crept up on me. I don't want that to happen to Laney.

Here is me at my high school graduation dinner. I can't believe I wasn't happy with my weight. I don't know if it is reasonable to have this as my goal. I am guessing it might not be possible as I've had a baby since. But a girl can dream. And she will.

Happy Labour Day!

2010-09-06T20:19:00.000-06:00

I love long weekends. I'm especially loving this September long weekend. It's is the first one I've ever had where I don't have to go back to school. It was so nice to have Mike home for a few days and to be able to just spend time as a family. We decided to relax and spend Labour day at the park.

Here are some photos from today.

Hope you enjoyed your labour day weekend.

Write it down

2010-09-05T23:02:00.000-06:00

I am in the process of writing out Laney's birth story. I meant to do it right away, but never did. While some memories seem to be forever burned into my memory, others are fading. I spent this evening getting all the raw details written down. Once I have it all done, I will write out the story.

This is the very first picture ever taken of Laney. The first of thousands so far.

I love how she looks so wrinkled in this one.

If I could make any moment of my life last forever, this would probably be it.

They woke us up at about 3 am for Laney's first bath.

The first time Mike got to hold her.

One of the many cuddles that I stole after they told me that Laney was jaundiced. I wasn't allowed to hold her except for feedings and diaper changes. I remember Mike told me not to look so sad and so in the rest of this set of pictures, I am smiling.

Laney hated the lights and this was the only way I could calm her down.

Finally getting to head for home.

A few more tidbits from Laney's birth story:

-I had a hind leak. My water broke at the top of my stomach, but did not fully break.
-I was in labour on my own, but they still gave me Pitocin. I don't know why.
-My labour was very quick and the pushing part was only about 25 minutes.
-I will never ever forget the moment they placed her on my chest.
-Laney was jaundiced and had to spend three days under the lights
-I got H1N1 when she was five days old. I was very sick at one point.

For those of you who have recently given birth or are about to, all I can say, is write it down! Every baby has a unique and wonderful birth story. Try and do it as soon as possible. I know you will be so tired after the baby is born, but if you even just put it in point form you will be able to write it out more eloquently later on. I know that the whole experience is so intense and that you feel as if you will remember every detail. The fact is that if you are like me you probably will start to forget some of these details as time goes on.

I never want to forget the experience of meeting my firstborn child. Have you written your childrens' birth stories? Did you stick to the facts or did you include your thoughts and feelings also?

Because sometimes you have to...

2010-09-04T21:06:00.005-06:00

Forget about their bedtime. Sometimes you just have to go and get them for a cuddle when they're sad. Either that or I'm the biggest wimp in the history of motherhood. But, come on. Look at that lip. She knows how to work it.

She just wants to be with us.

Before long, Laney is as happy as can be and we can try for bed again later.

Because I am convinced that all babies will sleep eventually. There is going to come a day when I get to wake her up right???? I can save my revenge for the teen years.

It came and it brought some disappointment

2010-09-02T15:01:00.003-06:00

I was so excited when the Wish Book arrived yesterday. The Wish Book is something I looked forward to as a child. When it arrived, my sisters and I would spend hours pouring over the toys, each circling the ones we wanted knowing all the while that chances were slim that we would get any of them.

I remember drooling over the kid's cars that could actually be driven. I knew that wasn't going to happen, but a kid can dream right?

So, I spent yesterday evening with a Sharpie in hand going through the much anticipated book. Something caught my eye. Can you guess what? Bottom right corner. Right underneath the cartoon snow tubes and to the right of the Disney pillows.

I kept seeing it over and over again. Even after finding the items pictured below, I found more going through the book a second time.

I really don't think Playboy items need to be displayed with Dora the Explorer. Who knows, maybe Dora will go the way of Miley and Britney, but for now let's let her stay innocent.

So what do I do about it? Do I give Sears another chance? As of this moment, I have decided I won't spend a dime there this Christmas. Should I write them a letter and see what they have to say?

I don't know if these items have been in their past Wish Books as it was probably easier for me to gloss over them before I had a daughter. Do I really want my daughter to think that Playboy is cool? Hmmm Mummy, I can't decide between the Disney princess pillow and the Playboy pillow. Yeah, so not going to happen. I want Laney to grow up respecting her body and herself.

If this year's catalogue is any indication of the direction Sears is taking, Laney won't be getting the Wishbook to look at as she grows. Does anyone know of any other fun Christmas catalogues that don't promote trash? Do you think I am overreacting?

Update: I sent a letter to Sears and this was their response. I guess it's a fairly we-don't-really-care response. I am done with Sears.

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Sears, your comments are appreciated.

At Sears Canada we service a very broad and diverse customer base, and there are times when not everyone will agree with all of the lines of specific items we select for our stores and catalogues. However, we try to respond to the demands of the majority of our customers. We will forward your comments and concerns to the appropriate department for further review.

Again, we thank you for taking the opportunity to write us to express your concern regarding this matter.

Regards,
Dianne

Decorating the nursery

2010-08-31T23:55:00.005-06:00

I've really enjoyed reading how others have decorated their babies' nurseries. Check out this great post showing how it is possible to have a stylish nursery without spending a fortune.

I've been meaning to share Laney's nursery for awhile now. I love the word nursery by the way. I think of Peter Pan every time I hear it. Anyhoo, after posting a tour of my house here this past week I was finally given the push I needed to take some pictures of Laney's room. This is my favourite room in the house and is the only one that feels somewhat complete to me.

I felt that there was not enough character in her room and so we added a chair rail around the entire room. We painted everthing below it white and chose a light green (skipping stones, Disney paint) to go around the top. I made the curtains out of some Toile fabric I ordered online. I needed curtains that could block out light and ones that would be inexpensive. They were really easy to make and this is coming from someone who is basically limited to sewing in straight lines. I just wish I made them a little bit longer.

I really wanted a room that didn't feel like a display in Babies'R'Us and I also didn't want to spend a fortune on the room. To achieve the look I wanted I mixed old pieces with new and I added things that are meaningful to us. I think the dresser is my favourite thing in Laney's room. It was given to me by my Grandmother and I love it. I think it really gives the nursery a classic look. The porcelain doll on the dresser was mine when I was a girl. The picture above the change table was something that Mike and I brought back from a trip to Pennsylvania. Mike's grandfather was Amish and this isn't a side of his family that he has had much exposure to, living in Canada and all, so we bought this to remind Laney of some of her heritage. The painting above the crib was done by his grandmother and having it in her room makes it feel special. I also ADORE the Benjamin bunny picture that my mother-in-law found in an antique store and gave me as a gift. I am also building a collection of treasured books to add to the shelf. I hope that she enjoys them someday soon.

I really do feel that this is a nursery that can grow with Laney (sans the nursery furniture). The pink in the room isn't overwhelming and a different colour could replace it fairly easily if she wants to change it. I am really happy with the way that this room came together.

Here's the breakdown of where the major things in the room came from.

New pieces:
-bookshelf from Ikea (I need to arrange this a little better)
-change table and crib
-glider
-Amish girl picture
-lamp from Winners
-curtains
-leather teddy bear

Old pieces:
-antique dresser
-antique Benjamin Bunny picture
-painting above crib
-porcelain doll on dresser
-stuffed animals
-most of the books

For me, having things in my house that remind me of loved ones and happy memories make a house a home. How do you make your home feel special?

Ten Months

2010-08-30T16:12:00.005-06:00

Our world is changing. Laney is growing. While I am so excited to see her take the world in, to explore, and to learn, it is sad when she leaves things behind. She is slowly morphing into a toddler and I am not ready to let my baby go. This past month she learned to stand up on her own and has now taken her first steps. She wants to eat the food from our plates rather than her food and she wants to do whatever mummy and daddy are doing.

What better way to celebrate ten months than a trip to our favourite park with daddy along too?

And to do so in a dress that mummy wore when she was in a baby.

To laugh as the birds fly by.

To swing in the afternoon sun.

And to see the world from daddy's shoulders.

To enjoy it even though I know that I can not slow time down. In fact, I will enjoy it all the more knowing that our time here is fleeting.

We have a walker

2010-08-29T20:47:00.002-06:00

Something amazing happened on Friday. Laney took her first steps! Mike even got to witness them.

We were only able to get her to take one step afterwards for the video though.

Yesterday's Miracle

2010-08-28T09:24:00.000-06:00

I have mentioned before that Laney doesn't like cuddling anymore. She avoids it like crazy. I truly miss having naps with her and bringing her to bed to sleep with us like she used to.

This was one of our first cuddles. By the way, I am totally wearing makeup the next time I go into labour. I laughed at those girls before, but never again.

She spent a lot of time cuddling with Daddy too.

I worked so hard at getting her to sleep in her crib and once she started she never looked back. I tried not to let it hurt my feelings. After all, I had wanted her to sleep in her crib. I just thought that she would still enjoy co-sleeping on occasion.

But something magical happened today. She was fussing. She wanted to be held. So I picked her up and she fell asleep. You must understand that this is so rare that my first thought was wondering if she was really sick or if something was terribly wrong. Cleaning and a whole myriad of other activities were lined up for her morning nap. Hmmm. Which would I rather, cleaning or cuddling? I promptly decided that I was going to take her to bed and have a nap with her.

We made it into my bed. She was still sleeping. We got all comfy and it was pure bliss.

I was thinking "finally" and "maybe now she will start cuddling again."

And then she must have realized what she was doing. Ten minutes after getting into bed she bolted upright. Then she began her usual get-out-of-cuddling routine: hair pulling, face smacking, and trying to remove my eyeballs with her little pinching fingers. So, it was off to the crib she went.

But, she left me with a little hope that one day soon she might want to cuddle again. Those of you with older kids please give me some hope. Tell me they cuddle again.

Guest Posting at Navigating the Mothership

2010-08-27T08:44:00.003-06:00

Today I was able to do a guest post for Laura from Navigating the Mothership! I love reading her blog and when she asked for readers to do guest posts, showing their homes I jumped at the chance.

Check it out here. It was fun to do. It also gave me a good excuse to do a quick clean-up so that I could get some photos of my house.

A Perfect Summer

2010-08-26T15:36:00.000-06:00

I love summer and I think the fact that I live in Canada might be the reason why.

Don't get me wrong though. I love all seasons. I love the renewal of spring, the sweaters and the colours of fall, and I love Christmas and snow-sports in the winter.

But there is something magical about summer. The following photographs show just a few ingredients to the perfect summer.

I am a certified water-baby. Approximately half of the pictures of me growing up include me in water of some sort. I love the beach. I grew up in gorgeous British Columbia where there are so many great beaches and places to swim. Cliff jumping, rope swinging, hot springs, paddling, diving, and swimming were my favourite pastimes. That is what I miss most about B.C. (besides my family). This picture is from a couple of summers ago from beautiful Hornby Island.

Fresh fruit is amazing. Canned goods and out-of-season items will never compare to tree-ripened fruit. Which brings me to another huge bonus about growing up in British Columbia: the summer fruits. Peaches are especially delicious. Just a little cream. A little brown sugar. My mouth is watering already.

I am going to go back to the water for this next one. I love kayaking. Not the hardcore rapids thing, just the gentle paddling in a quiet bay type. Mike and I were engaged at Sooke, B.C. This is a picture from that trip. I am so sad we weren't able to make it to Vancouver Island this summer. I had visions in my head from the time I was pregnant of Laney playing on the beach. Oh well, I suppose she'll enjoy it a lot more next summer.

From the moment Laney entered our lives, a neccessary ingredient to the perfect summer has to include her. I love that she is able to learn to stand in grass (and barefoot too). I love that she gets to know the feel of grass between her toes and that while she is enjoying it an adorable boy is fishing in the lake behind her. Does it get any more summer than that?

Nothing quite says summer like a swim in the Canadian Pacific. This picture was also taken at Hornby Island. I promise the water is totally swimmable here. I stayed in for quite a long time. I would swim in almost anything though.

I picked these five photos to depict the perfect summer, but the fact of the matter is that there are hundreds more I could have chosen from. Barbeques, picnics, family, friends, babies in diapers only, fireworks, camping, gardens, etc.

As much as I am going to miss summer, I am going to enjoy the fall. I am ready for comfy sweaters, blankets, and cuddling on the couch with my family. I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer.

Thanks to Mama Kat's writing prompts for the inspiration for this post.

Motivation

2010-08-25T09:31:00.010-06:00

I often feel the urge to give up when I am trying to do something hard. Whether it be pushups, losing weight, trying to make a new habit, or even keeping my house clean, I find it difficult to stick with it. It is so much easier to give in and just eat that ice cream, because this one time won't make a difference. The problem is, I don't just stop with that one time. I think, "oh well, I've already screwed up, might as well do whatever I want." This leads me to eat ice cream everyday (hypothetically speaking, of course). I find quitting to be my biggest hurdle. I guess the good thing is that I've recently recognized this flaw in myself. That's the first step right?

I have some powerful motivators to keep me sticking to my goals. They are also good enough to help me back up after I've failed. They are enough for me to say "screw yesterday" today is a new day.

I can't just always take the easy road. I've got a ridiculously cute little pair of eyes watching my every move. And she needs to learn that the best way usually isn't the easiest way (unless we're talking about slow cookers). That is enough to keep me going.

These are the two people on Earth who motivate me the most.

Here's a picture just to gross you out. But, it makes me happy.

On My Mind

2010-08-23T09:37:00.009-06:00

Today is rather random. I apologize. My brain is cluttered with too many different thoughts. I think it might be due to the four hours of sleep I got last night. Someone please tell me that all babies sleep eventually.

I looked at the date today and realized that today is August 23. This day will always be remembered. My first baby was due on this day last year. We lost that one. If things had been different, we would be celebrating our first baby's birthday around now. However, God managed to turn things around for good.

You see, Laney wouldn't be here if circumstances had been different. She was born at the end of October last year. So while we don't know why God allows bad things to happen to us, and we may never know in this life, I do know that He can turn terrible things into good ones.

I finally weighed myself today. It wasn't pretty. I actually weigh 3 more pounds than I did a week after Laney was born. I lost a lot of weight that first week (thanks to postpartum sweating and a little diet plan called H1N1). However, I am now about 15 pounds more than I weighed before I got pregnant with Laney. I promptly logged onto sparkpeople.com and am going to start tracking my meals.

I am sick of editing myself out of photos with Laney because I don't like the way I look. It is time to either suck it up or deal with it. I am going to choose the latter. Laney deserves to have a mummy in her photo albums. She also deserves to have a mummy that will set an example for her by displaying a positive body image. I am going to give it to her. She is going to face many attacks on her self-image as she grows and I do not one to be one of them.

In light of all of this, I kicked Laney and I out of the house today. Too many depressing thoughts to muddy up the day at home with. The weather has been lousy for the past couple of weeks, but I decided not to let that leave us house-bound for another minute. We needed to get out and breathe some fresh air.

It was worth it.
I even let her crawl in the dirt. She loved it.

Look what I caught on camera!

I cured my "monday blues." I hope you have a wonderful Monday.

How To: Fold Your Towels Hotel-Style

2010-08-18T10:19:00.015-06:00

Lately, I've been asking myself if I have any skills to share. I have learned a lot and gained great ideas reading other blogs.

These are just a few ideas I've gotten recently. Genius, I tell you.
-homemade play oven
-feeding your toddler
-decorating your nursery on a budget
-Using cloth diapers (I don't, but I'm almost convinced)
-Homemade gift idea
-Pantry makeover

Sadly, however, I didn't think I had anything to share. Until I thought of this. Just don't get too excited, it's not as great as any of the above.

I know how to fold towels like they do in hotels. Not the fancy hotels, the regular run-of-the-mill ones. If you came here thinking I was going to show you how to turn your towels into graceful swans you are going to leave bitterly disappointed. Perhaps you already know this trick. If you do, I'm sure this post is a "duh" for you. But, I didn't discover this until I was about 20. So, I am guessing that there may be someone out there who does not know how to do this yet.

Just look at the difference between the regularly-folded towel and the hotel-folded towel. I think that little things like this can make a difference in the feel of our homes. It even takes almost the same amount of time.

By the way, the photos I took of the towels are precious. While I was loading them on my computer, Laney decided to stand up unassisted and then squat and stand back up for approximately 10 seconds. I grabbed my camera and then realized that the memory card was in the computer. Hopefully I can get a reenactment later.

Enough rambling. Here is how to do it.

1. Lay out your towel lengthwise

2. Fold in one long side to the middle. Repeat for the other side.

3. Fold it over in half and magic! You can hang it on a rack this way, or fold again to store. Stacking towels that have been folded this way look delicious.

And to show you the difference one more time:

I think we all have skills that we can share. Sure, they might not be as amazingly creative as designing a play kitchen for our children, but I bet that someone would find them useful. What skills do you have?

How to Get Your Baby to Cuddle

2010-08-16T11:01:00.004-06:00

My baby hasn't really appreciated cuddling for the past few months. When she was born, I remember telling Mike how excited I was that our baby was a snuggler. I held her nonstop for the first couple of months. My Moby wrap was put to good use.

Then something happened--she started moving. She decided that getting around and falling asleep by herself was much better than cuddling with mummy.

Fast forward to nine-and-a-half months, add in one nasty virus, and voila--I have a cuddler.

As much as I appreciate the cuddles, I would give them up in a heartbeat to have her feeling better. Holding a feverish baby who can't go to sleep with dark circles under her eyes is one of the saddest things to see.

Do you have any tips to keep me from panicking and racing her to the doctor? Her fever is mild today and her nose is just pouring with mucus.

A New Day With a Clean Slate

2010-08-12T16:26:00.005-06:00

I fall down so many times when I am trying to improve myself. I hope I can always pick myself up and carry on.

The pushups goal is going fairly well. There was a minor hiccup when I missed a day last week. I was ready to throw in the towel and not even bother. I managed to convince myself to continue and was so proud of myself when I did. Once I continued, I discovered that I have increased my maximum pushups from 10 to 15. In only a few weeks. There is one fantastic reason right there to keep going even though I will never do things perfectly.

Keeping my house clean is going so-so. I have fabulous weeks. I have bad weeks. Hopefully I can become a little less bi-polar-cleaning-lady. This was my to do list from Monday.

Today is Thursday and it is still staring me in the face. Showing me what a disappointment I am. Well, since I am the boss of this list, I get to erase it. I don't have to worry about all the items on it that did not get completed. They do not have to go on a new list. They are done.

Tomorrow is a new day and I will have a new list.

Oh, and the flossing is going well also. I have been flossing almost every day, with a miss here and there. No more pink in the sink. My teeth feel great.

Monday Randoms

2010-08-09T19:57:00.004-06:00

1. Vaccuum lines = satisfaction

2. If someone could figure out a way to bottle up new baby smell, they would be very rich indeed.

3. I have the urge to decorate my house for Christmas. Don't worry. I won't. At least not until October.

4. I just realized that I haven't bought any clothing for myself since April of 2009. I need to go shopping. Usually when I go I spend money on Laney and not myself.

5. If I weeded my garden more often, I wouldn't find random weeds in my salad instead of lettuce.

6. I wouldn't have to worry about poisoning my family if I didn't find weeds in my salad.

Things I Love About My Parents

2010-08-07T20:12:00.010-06:00

My parents are amazing. Sure, they made lots of mistakes. Even though they were not and never will be perfect, I can only hope to be half as good a parent to my children as they were to me and my sisters. Their good opinion of me was one of the most important factors in me staying on the right path throughout my adolescence.

These are five reasons I love them.

1. They are still in love with each other after 31 years. My mum and dad actually can be quite embarrassing. Dad is always whispering in my mum's ear and then she will swat him. Dad laughs. We groan.

I love this picture.

2. They can admit when they've made mistakes. I got the sweetest letter from my dad a couple of years ago. He sent it to all four of us kids. He apologized for not taking us fishing when we were little. He said he was sorry that he didn't always make time for us.

3. My dad is smart. Seriously. Do you remember when you were a child and you thought that your dad knew everything? I never grew out of that stage. My dad is the wisest and most intelligent person I have ever met. He doesn't flaunt it either. I know that I can always talk to him when I need some advice. He was there for me during Calculus. He showed me how to change oil in my car. He taught me so much.

4. My mum is a rock. She has always been there for us when we need her. I think I have seen her cry once and it broke my heart. I always feel like everything is going to be just fine when I've talked to her. I wouldn't trade her for the world. She gave me a wonderful childhood that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

5. They raised me to have faith in God. This is probably the single most important thing they did for me. I love them for that. They taught me to reason, to think, and to believe.

What do you love about your parents? Is there anything you would change about them?

A Drugged Husband, 911, and Me

2010-08-06T19:34:00.008-06:00

I've just had a rather crazy Thursday.

Mike had laser eye surgery in the afternoon. He came home with a plethora of medicated eye drops, and two different pain medications. Because one of them said that he should take three per day, Mike decided to take all three over about a five hour span in the evening.

At first it was rather hilarious. Mike was slurring and going on the funniest rants. He kept telling me he felt funny. He was very uncoordinated and seemed to be drunk.

I did what any concerned wife would do. I told him to call his mother so that I could get a good giggle out of the conversation (and of course video the whole thing). I sat there laughing the whole time. When I got on the phone, his mum was rather worried and told me I had better phone the health line and talk to a nurse. Up until this point, I figured he was just experiencing a normal reaction to the drugs.

I phoned the health line. The nurse was very concerned when I explained his behaviour. She even talked to Mike. Then when I got back on the phone she said that I needed to call 911. I was quite surprised. I told her that if Mike needed to go to the hospital I could take him myself since it is about 5 minutes away.

She refused to let us go ourselves and transferred the call to 911. Mike could not believe what was happening and got rather irrate. He kept telling me he was fine and was getting super mad. I didn't know whether or not it was him or the drugs talking, so I just went along with the nurse's advice. I talked to a dispatcher, then a paramedic. At this point Mike started leaving the house and said he was not going to be here when the paramedics got here. I canceled the 911 call.

After I got him calmed down, I decided to just watch him and wait.

I did some google research and these are some of the symptoms of an overdose:

- anxiety
- agitation
- hostility
- restlessness
- weakness
- slurred speech
- mood and behaviour changes
- confusion
- lack of coordination
- acting drunk

Suddenly, my evening made sense. And. Laney slept through the whole thing.

How To Stay Sane as a Mum

2010-08-04T20:09:00.016-06:00

Are you at the end of your rope? Going crazy? I certainly was yesterday. Laney was so crabby and would not let me set her down but was not content being held either. I just felt like walking out.

After I finally got Laney to sleep, I knew I needed to find some way to destress.

Mike and I have decided that we are going to be "unplugged" on Wednesday evenings. We turn off all the lights and only use candles, and every gadget is verboten for the evening. No TV, no phones, no computers. Games, talking, and any other activity not requiring batteries or electricity is the order of the day. We hope that this is going to be a fun tradition in our family in the future. I decided to take advantage of this particular evening alone because Mike was out with some friends.

Do you have a free half hour? Could you put off doing the dishes or laundry right now? They will still be there later, I promise.

Follow the steps below. Your sanity is worth every minute of it.

Drink a glass of water

Go rummaging through your cupboards and find samples, containers, etc. of goods to be used during your bath. I hold onto these for years without ever using them. Finally giving myself permission to use them is so much better than letting them pile up and cause clutter in my house. I always was saving these for special occasions. I did myself a favour and made yesterday a special occasion.

I managed to find some bath salts, an undereye gel pad sample, Arbonne sea salt scrub, and a facial cleanser. Look, the scrub even has dust on it!

Turn off the bathroom lights and light some candles. I know you have tons of them laying around that just collect dust. Use them. That's what they were meant for. Don't they look so much prettier lit?

Wash your face.

Put on a mask or like I did, some under-eye gel pads. Note to self: buy facial mask for next time.

Run a hot bath with whatever you can find. Bubble bath. Bath salts. Anything.

Hop in and put your feet up.

Breathe deeply and relax. Quit cheating. Stop that tape recorder playing in your head with all the things you should be doing instead.

Get out and dry off. Use the best smelling body lotion you can find.

Brush and floss your teeth. You will feel much better with squeaky clean teeth.

There. That wasn't so bad was it?

On Complaints and Domestic Bliss

2010-08-04T14:00:00.013-06:00

I would like to apologize for my last post. Complaints really have nothing to do with improving myself. Actually, not being negative is something I do need to work on. So let my previous post serve as an example of how I don't want to be.

I do find family get togethers stressful sometimes. Mike has a very large, loud family. I have a small, calm family. OK, having three sisters isn't exactly calm, but overall, my relatives are more reserved. What I am used to is about as opposite from what Mike is used to as you can get. Because of this, I need to learn to relax a little more at these functions.

There are times when I need to stop worrying about sleep schedules and let my baby come out of her crib. I am such a sucker and can't let her cry. If she's upset and I can't calm her down, it isn't the end of the world to bring her out with us. Last night was one of those times. She is still off-kilter from the weekend away and she is not her happy little self.

Speaking of family get-togethers. This is what I came home to after our weekend away. Do you ever get home from a vacation to find that your house looks like this, no matter the state you left it in? Does it stress you out like it does me? It never used to, but it sure does now.

I am a messy person in recovery. My bedroom growing up and after I moved away from home was just atrocious. I remember my Mum always telling me that I needed to learn how to keep my room clean as it was going to drive guys away. I used to laugh and tell her that if a guy liked me, he wouldn't care less about what my room looked like.

It turns out, Mum was right.

Mike and I really don't fight all that often. I have heard that the number one cause of disagreements between couples is money. While we have had a disagreement or two over money (or more like our lack thereof), I must admit that 99% of our arguments and disagreements are about the state of the house. I wonder how that ranks in the stats. Mike can't stand disorganization. He is a list man. He is an everything-has-its-place kind of guy. Mike cannot go to sleep with a messy house. He has to take care of it immediately. If I wanted to bug him, all I would have to do would be to leave an unopened piece of mail by the front door, not that I have ever done this ;) I would probably have about 24 hours before he couldn't take it anymore.

I have improved so much since we have gotten married. I think Mike sometimes forgets this. I do think we are starting to meet in the middle though, or at least the middle of his side of things. Anyways, I don't really want to admit it, especially to Mike, but I feel so much calmer when everything is organized. I actually hate not having a bed made now. I never thought I would be that type of person.

So after avoiding the mess for about a day, I got busy.

And now everything is calm in my universe.

Family Rules

2010-08-03T10:33:00.004-06:00

The long weekend is officially over. Part of me is glad. It wasn't quite the relaxing summer weekend I had hoped for, but we had some fun, nevertheless. We spent Saturday at my husband's family reunion and Sunday at his uncle's wedding.

I do have some things I would like to get off my chest. Sorry if this is too whiny and negative for you.

Dear relatives,

1. Please do not come up to me and yank my baby out of my arms. Ask.
2. If you are going to grab my baby please do not put her soother in your mouth and then give it to her.
3. No, my baby can not eat that.
4. You better believe that I am going to take her back if you even attempt to give her sugary treats.
5. Do not tell me that my baby doesn't need a nap when I try to lay her down.
6. Futhermore, please do not keep pestering the baby while she is supposed to be napping. Until you are the one waking up several times a night with an upset baby you do not get to decide if she needs a nap or not.
7. I will leave in my car to allow the baby to nap if no one will leave her alone.
8. I am so thankful for hotels.

Pfew. I feel better now.

My World in Nine Months

2010-07-29T20:27:00.007-06:00

My Sweet little Laney.

How can it be? You are now nine months. You have been in the world as long as you were inside me. Can you even remember being in Mummy's tummy by now? If you can, surely those memories will soon be gone.

You are growing and changing in so many ways. You are so curious. Everything must be touched, especially if Mummy is using it. You think everything is funny. You trust everyone. All it takes is a word and a look your way to elicit a smile. You pull yourself up with no effort at all. You use anything you can get your hands on as leverage to stand. You want to walk. You still crawl, but you sometimes scuttle along without your knees even touching the floor.

Your Mummy is finished with the phrase, "I can't wait." She has said far too many times "I can't wait for you to smile, to laugh, to crawl, to be more independant, etc." She can wait. Because with the gaining of new skills comes leaving certain things behind. You don't have as much time for cuddles now that you are moving. You don't sleep with Mummy now that you sleep so well in your crib. The day will eventually come when Mummy isn't the most important person in your world and she can definitely wait for that. Yes new things are exciting, but don't grow up too fast.

I can wait.

Love,
Mummy

I Ate a Squirrel to Impress a Guy

2010-07-29T08:47:00.008-06:00

In the hopes of improving my writing, I decided to participate in Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. I chose the prompt to describe a memorable camping trip.

When I was a teenager, I was known for doing slightly crazy things. Probably the moment at the top of my crazy list would be the time that my friends and I ate roadkill. Yes, you read that correctly. Am I ashamed? Definitely. Although it makes a rather humorous story now.

I hung out with some older guys when I was growing up. I had a huge crush on one of them. If you have ever been a teenage girl then you will know that the following equation holds true: cute guy + teenage girl = attention seeking behaviour. Said guys were going on a March camping trip up into the mountains. Us girls were not invited and we were told that we would not be able to camp like that because it was too intense, cold, and rugged, etc. Being rather indignant, we got ourselves into a lot more than we had bargained for. We spouted of how we could survive anywhere, that we were capable of finding our own food, that we could sleep in the snow, and that we could do it better than them.

This all led to a bet. We would need to go camping in the wilderness on our own, kill our own animal, and eat it. We also had to videotape it for proof.

We held a girls meeting at my house. What on earth were we going to do? How were we going to kill an animal? We didn't want to do that. Miracle of all miracles, my friend Ally road her bike out to my house and came upon a dead squirrel on the road. She figured it might come in handy and brought it to my house.

Long story short, we knew there was no way we could kill any creature. We went camping and brought along our squirrel. We set up the squirrel in the bush, pretended to shoot it on video, skinned, cooked the squirrel (with some seasoning salt, I might add) and ate it. I threw up. This was all done dressed up as the Spice Girls. I was Posh Spice. I would pay big bucks for that video now. Sadly, no one knows where it is today. Doubtless someone is holding onto it on the off-chance one of us will be famous one day.

In the end, I didn't get the guy but I bet he never forgot me.

A Humbling Experience

2010-07-27T10:13:00.001-06:00

You may recall me bragging in this post about how fit I was in high school and putting forward my goal to complete 20 pushups in a row. Well, I decided to start yesterday. I roped Mike into doing this as well. He has been wanting to improve his fitness, so I suggested we do the program together. It basically takes you from whatever fitness level you are at and trains you to do 100 pushups in a row. He was intrigued.

The first part of the program involves doing an initial test to determine your current level of fitness and to get a customized program. Mike went first. He eeked out 20 good-form pushups and we laughed about how few he had done. I knew I wasn't going to do very well and would probably manage far less.

Now before I tell you just how many I managed to complete, let me point out that I spend most of my day hauling around an 18 lb baby while completing various tasks. Just today, I held her while vacuuming the bedrooms. I guess this made me think that I had some upper body strength. Boy was I wrong.

Are you ready for it? I completed 0 pushups. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Goose eggs. Mike thought it was the funniest thing ever and to add insult to the injury (and my bruised ego), Laney thought it was the funniest thing she had ever seen as well and had a giggling fit right in front of me on the floor as I kept trying again and again. I tried from the ground up. I tried up, going down. As much as I tried, I could not lower and lift myself up. In my defence, I think breastfeeding has caused my boobs to weigh at least 40 lbs, increasing the amount of work one pushup involves. However, since I can do zero pushups, I am going to start the program using the girly ones. Hopefully after a week or two I can graduate to real pushups. I think this is going to be harder than I initially thought.

In the spirit of being totally open with you, I am going to post some pictures of my upper body. I can only hope to have some better ones to post a couple of months down the road when I AM able to do 20 pushups in a row.

Finally, I'd like to challenge you to participate in this program with me. There's nothing to lose but some flabby arms! Come on now, it will be really fun. There is no fancy equipment required, it will only take a few minutes of your time, and you don't even have to leave your house. At least check the program here. I'm sure that will convince you if I've failed. If you would like to do this too, then let me know. Make a post about it and put the link to your post in my comments. Don't forget to take some before pictures.

Times Like These

2010-07-25T20:59:00.000-06:00

What a wonderful weekend I've just had. We had one of those rare summer weekends with no plans and nowhere to hurry off to.

We spent some time in a local park, walking around.

We pushed Laney in a swing. She absolutely loved it.

We took her to the splash park, which she was a little more unsure of.

Then we set off for home with a happy baby.

Finally, I had some time of pure bliss on Sunday evening. I don't know about you, but I cherish time by myself every now and then, even more so after becoming a mother. Mike left to play basketball with some friends and Laney was down for the night (OK, a little more realistically, until the first feeding). I went out and sat on my deck and just sat in silence. I love evenings like that. The TV off. No music playing. No talking. I just took in the beautiful evening. I was alone with my thoughts. And it was wonderful.

Of course I couldn't resist a few dorky shots of myself taking it all in.

In Her Father's Eyes

2010-07-23T19:38:00.001-06:00

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold

There is something magical about watching a father with his baby. I see this magic in the moments when I sit back and watch Laney and Mike together. Laney saves her biggest smiles for her dad. She looks to him when she is playing on the floor, just to be sure he is watching. If his attention is turned elsewhere, she makes silly sounds and starts giggling, imploring him to look at her.

Dads push the limits during play in ways most mums do not. Mike is no exception. Laney flies, she twists, and she turns upside-down in her dad's arms. I have to restrain my words of caution while they play. She's goofy with her dad and she wants her dad's approval, even this young.

She loves it when Mike squishes her face.

Sharing a laugh after getting tossed in the air.
Taking a breather.
Her Daddy smile.
Playing 'high five.'
Oops. I didn't make myself up today.

I recently read "Bringing Up Girls" by Dr. James Dobson. One thing that really hit home was the important role that dads play in their daughters' lives. Sure mums are important, but there is something about fathers that cannot be replaced. As I read this book, I reflected on my own Dad. Sure, he was imperfect. He was often working, reading, on his computer and away from us. He could be stern, prone to rage, and hard on us. But, he was also gentle, wise, and loving. My dad's opinion meant the world to me. I often found myself avoiding trouble during the teen years with the thought of "what would my dad think if he found out?" I wanted him to be proud of me. I still want him to be proud of me. A harsh word from him consumed my thoughts. A complimentary word from him made me think I could do anything. And this influence continues. I love my dad.

I can only hope that Mike realizes the importance of his relationship with Laney. I hope he builds her up, picks her up when she falls, and carries her when she needs it. I hope he takes the time to play with her when she is young and to talk with her when she is grown. I hope he tells her she is beautiful every time he gets the chance. Mike is the one who has to teach her that she is too good to sell herself out. She is too good to be with a no good boy. She can do anything she wants. And after watching him so far, I am sure he is up for the task.

Where Did My Baby Go?

2010-07-22T10:38:00.000-06:00

Pretty much the first thing every mum will tell you when they find out you are expecting is that you need to cherish every moment because it goes by so fast. It is not always easy to do this when you are in and out of your bed during the night more times than you can count trying to console an inconsolable baby. But, at the risk of sounding really cheesy and cliche, I have to admit that they were right.

Laney is almost nine months and I can't believe how fast she is growing up. The early months seem like such a distant memory. Every time I see a little baby I can hardly believe that only a few short months ago, Laney was that small. I really miss the cuddles. She is too busy pulling herself up on everything and motoring around to give her poor mum some love. Now, she has to be pretty much passed out to let me snuggle her.

She is constantly at my feet when I'm in the kitchen. This is the first time she pulled up on Mike.

She moves so fast!

The baby carrier always works like magic when I want a cuddle.

Midyear resolutions

2010-07-20T16:26:00.001-06:00

So my New Year's Resolutions for 2010 didn't exactly pan out. Big surprise. I think next year my only New Year's Resolution is going to be not to make any. I think part of the reason that I haven't been able to keep resolutions is because I make my goals too general or too difficult to achieve. This blog is another example. I started it to totally transform myself from a chubby, procrastinating, frumpy, stressed out woman into a more stylish, fit, and joyful one. If I am going to have any success, or for that matter any way to measure success, I need some specific, attainable, and short-term goals. So here they are, in no particular order.

1. Complete a sprint triathlon

In high school I was really fit. I exercised all the time. Not to brag (OK, maybe a little), but I did 1000 crunchies every night in grade 12. I took a course in high school called “Super Fit” and the final assignment was to do a sprint triathlon. For those of you wondering what this consists of, check out this site. I am so far from fit at this point in my life. I really would like to feel better about my body and have some more energy. Completing this was originally my goal for this summer; however, things were not so simple and figuring out how to take care of a baby and training just did not happen. My town runs a triathlon every year and I would like to be able to compete and finish it in the summer of 2011.

2. Do devotions most days

I tend to put my relationship with God on the backburner far too often. I would really like to spend more time reading the Bible and need to start setting aside some time everyday. When I went to Ethiopia a couple of years ago, I read the entire Bible in my evenings. It was so simple there finding the time to do this. Here in North America it is so easy to get distracted and not make time for things that are important. I made this goal stating "most days" because I know life sometimes gets in the way and it is not always possible to say every day. If I had made every day my goal, then I know that I am likely to quit trying after the first time I miss a day.

3. Floss my teeth most days.

I am ashamed to admit that I am one of those people who only floss after eating corn-on-the-cob or immediately before my next dentist appointment. I hope you aren’t too grossed out. I have a friend who is a dental assistant and she is always telling me how important it is to floss. This article backs her up and has succeeded in making flossing everyday a priority . I want to impress my dental hygienist next time I see her and I don’t want to hear anymore lectures from her. I need some validation from the dental hygienist.

4. Lose 30 lbs

This goal hopefully will be met when I complete some of my other goals, such as the triathlon. I never had weight issues growing up. I started to gain weight through post-secondary when I didn’t really make eating healthy and exercising a priority. To help me achieve this goal, I am going to use SparkPeople again. I had begun to lose some weight two years ago using this website. If you have some pounds to drop, I strongly suggest checking it out. You can set a goal weight and the date you want to meet your goal and they will give you personalized nutrition plans. You can also just use it to track your food and they will count all the calories, etc. for you.

5. Eat healthy foods

I really want to be a good example for Laney. I do not want to see her grow up struggling with her weight. Mike also seems to struggle with being fairly intolerant to excess sodium. I had a gestational diabetes scare (almost had it) during my pregnancy. Besides wanting to avoid any repeats in subsequent pregnancies, I do not want to get Type II diabetes down the road. I have begun to make most foods from scratch and we barely eat any processed foods at all. I now need to focus on more balanced meals and getting in more veggies and less carbs.

6. Start my own business

This is a lofty goal for me. I am not aiming so high that I need a business that will make a living, but more something I can do on the side to make a little extra for my family. I would love to be able to do something out of my home. Unfortunately, being scientifically minded, I am not the most creative. Also, considering how my skills are in the laboratory, there aren’t many legal businesses I can run from home. If you have any legitimate suggestions or ideas that don’t consist of me talking dirty on the phone to sweaty old men please share.

7. Keep my house clean

I have been checking out this site almost daily and have finally taken the plunge into following some of the methods. I’ve used a few tips to organize my life and not have cleaning take over. It is so nice to plan out my days and as a bonus it gives me some structure, which is something I miss about my job.

8. Go on a great vacation

Mike and I are always planning vacations to exotic locations. Tahiti, Zanzibar, and South Africa are just a few of the places we would love to see. We have not been on a proper vacation since our honeymoon to Jamaica five years ago. We have been on a few trips to visit family, and while nice, isn’t always relaxing like a vacation should be. Hopefully goal number 6 will help me make a little extra to save up for a good one.

9. Save money and pay off some debt

Mike and I both have student loans, parental loan, a mortgage, and vehicle payments. We would really love to have no debt in the long term and only our mortgage in the next several years. We have to start budgeting, as much as I hate that word. We have gotten so used to just spending without any planning or saving that our money always seems to disappear without us having noticed. I would love to find some great tools that would help us in this area.

10. Complete 20 pushups in a row

I mean real pushups. Not the girly ones. I found this website that gives a training regimen to finish 100 consecutive pushups. I am going to try this and see if I can get to 20. The sky is the limit after that. Also, just so you know the only real reason this goal is on here is because I felt like nine goals just didn't sound right.

Lacy Panties, High Heels and Green-Eyed Monsters

2010-07-18T21:46:00.001-06:00

Part of what inspired me to start my blog included coming across other mum bloggers such as her, her, and her. I wanted to improve myself after reading other mothers’ stories. One of these bloggers, was brought to my attention while reading a thread asking how people felt about women “living off their man” on a message board. There was somewhat of a controversy brought on by a couple of readers sending insults to the mum over her status as a SAHM among other things. I’ve included a sampling of some of the comments below.

“Most educated mothers roll their eyes at SAHMs, not because they're SAHMs but because they're UNEDUCATED SAHMs. That's like dumb + dumb. I really hope your husband doesn't ever drop dead, get laid off, or decide to leave you!”

“I laugh when you call "staying at home with babies" your dream. Really? That's all you want for yourself?”

“I don't want my child going to school with a kid who thinks all she has to do is put on lacey panties and some heels and she can get whatever she wants because that's what her mother did.” (Note to self: if I decide to insult someone because of their perceived lack of education, I’d better at least spell words correctly. I’m guessing this woman meant lacy panties.)

What’s wrong with a wife wanting to keep her husband happy? Is there something wrong with a wife who is generally happy staying at home, cooking, cleaning and caring for her children? A wife who goes out of her way to please her husband? A wife who puts on lacy panties and high heels?

Would we be better off if our husbands get home and we’re still dressed in our pajamas, with our hair unkept? Should we start complaining the minute he gets home and act like we need some Midol? You know the woman I’m talking about: the woman with a giant chip on her shoulder. Some women seem to revel in the fact that their lives are so difficult and how brutal it is to be a SAHM. I think the authors of the comments I've included would feel much better about themselves if this described this blogger. I mean if we are going to stay at home we better be unhappy (not to mention, frumpy and hairy-legged) about it, right?

Why do people feel the need to put women like this down? My best bet is jealousy. I think these criticisms are the main reasons I don’t consider myself to be a feminist. I thought the idea of the feminist movement was to give women choices, including the choice to work or stay at home. Why are some women so vehemently against other women choosing to be a SAHM? Postsecondary education is not for everyone. Being a working mother is also not for everyone. Many SAHM without postsecondary education are more financially secure than me. I spent years obtaining an education and am now staying home and having to pay student loans.

Marriage isn’t just about one person. Both people give and it makes a great marriage. I think that by always putting the other person first, you will never “fall out of love.” So what if someone’s husband appreciates his wife putting an effort into her appearance? How does that affect you? My husband goes out of his way to make me happy. He gives me the option of going to work or staying at home with Laney. He works his butt of everyday to provide for us and to allow me to stay at home. He goes out of his way to do things for me and to help out at home. Wouldn’t doing things to please him be the least I could do?

I know I have been inspired by other mothers who manage to keep themselves up. I guess judging by the comments I've included in this blog that another option would be to be jealous of these women and lash out at them. I'm not following that route. Improving myself in this way is partly why I started this blog in the first place. I am currently making a huge effort into putting on at least some mascara and dressing a little better for my husband. I'm taking babysteps, people. I fixed my hair and put on some mascara today. He certainly noticed and appreciated it. Sorry I don't have any pictures of me on a typical day. I don't take pictures of myself like that.

I'm off to go buy some lacy panties and high heels.

Wimpy Me

2010-07-14T10:19:00.000-06:00

I feel like a bad mum today.

I have held Laney basically anytime she cries. I never used the cry-it-out method even though she used to be a terrible sleeper. I followed the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley and finally started getting some sleep when Laney was about six months. The only time I let her cry is when she kind of whines a bit before going to sleep in her crib. It isn't really a cry though.

So now that she has two bottom teeth things have changed. She has bitten me a few times while feeding her. It hurts. Today she bit me and I said "ouch" pretty loud and then told her "no, we don't bite." She burst into tears. It made me feel so bad. I know that I need to discipline her and that we kind of have to start saying "no" especially now that she is mobile.

I have no idea if I am supposed to comfort her when she cries after I've told her no. Is that erasing the significance of saying no? Do I let her cry a minute after saying no? She just looked so sad and I ended up hugging her. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. What I didn't know was that I am not as tough as I thought I was. I am a huge pushover.

Oh yeah, did I mention that this is what she looks like when she's crying?

Viva Espana!

2010-07-12T10:53:00.000-06:00

Well, if you read my blog post from two days ago, you would be right in concluding that I am a happy girl today. Now to decide what movie I want to watch with my hubby. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

The World Cup party was really fun. We had three couples here with their children and a good time was had by all (except Mike being disappointed in the outcome of the game). These are the cookies I made before the game. I am glad they are fairly accurate. My four year old neice asked me why the orange team was sad and why the red team was happy. She then proceeded to tell me that she was cheering for the yellow team, go figure. If you are in awe of my domestic greatness at these creations, don't worry, I really am not that clever. I got the idea to do the soccer cookies from my cousin who made some to cheer on Team England.

Mike and I make bets like this fairly often. They never include money, I guess because we only have a joint banking account. Do any of you ever make fun bets?